Stress. It hurts, don't it?

I've been an anxiety ball for about 9 months, now. No...I'm not a first time mom with jitters. I'm an established mother who has been fighting to have her daughter move with her. I won, but she's still not here. Things are coming to a head. It's hard.

Sometime between the ruling being handed down and today, I've heard, over the phone, my daughter's spirit deteriorate. She's not the same girl she was a year ago - or even a month ago. It's so hard to keep doing this night after night. I call. I call again. She eventually calls back with about 10 minutes to talk before she has to go to bed. She is sad. She is lonely. She doesn't understand why she's still in Omaha. I don't, either.

And now, she can't go to church with my mom on Sunday. It'll be Palm Sunday, Scooter's favorite day for church. Every year since she was born, she'd come home from Palm Sunday service with a palm leaf cross. It's something she looks forward to each year. It's something she won't be able to do this year. Not because she's in Portland, and Nona's church is in Omaha. It's because it's too much stress for her father to allow my mom to pick her up, take her to church, and bring her home.

I get it. You're selling your house. You are responsible for taking Scooter to her soccer game Sunday afternoon. You lost your court case. It's stressful. But it's your stress. All of those things that are stressing you out are because of decisions you made. Not me. Definitely not Scooter. She shouldn't have to suffer/feel depressed/be cut off from her mom because of your stress. You're not the only one hurting in this situation. Your actions are hurting others. Get over it. Start making some choices that move your life (and other people's lives) in a better direction. It's up to you. Nobody else can live your life for you. No matter what has gone down in the past few months or years or forever, your future starts today with the actions you make today.

Scooter, my mom, me, my friends and family are all on this train that you're driving. Pull the lever to put this train on the right track because you're about to lead us into a tunnel and the light on the other side isn't the sun.