Recap: we "won" the appeal (meaning, we successfully defended the appeal, and also won our cross appeal). We suggested a $200 per month break in child support so that we wouldn't have to deal w/ the abatement process by which his child support obligation gets credited back to him when he visits here. It's a good deal for him because he's getting a $1200 per year break on child support. It's a good deal for us because so far, he has done the abatement incorrectly 100% of the time. Our recourse is to a) ignore it and let him claim ridiculous expenses - like mini bar in the hotel room, b) object to the abatement, and eventually pay a lawyer at $200 per hour to present to the court why we objected (a $50 error on the ex's part).
We gave them until Friday to give us an answer.
Last Thursday, the ex took my daughter out of state for the day. "What's the problem with that?" you might ask. Well...Thursday was the day we were supposed to bring Scooter home. So...she missed her flight. Even though he was back in Omaha 2 hours before her flight actually took off. He just ignored us completely. We couldn't easily re-arrange our schedule. It was a mess. We have a good case for a civil contempt of court, but again, we're left deciding if we want to spend a bunch of money for the sake of being right. I would have to fly back for that hearing, since it's a new lawsuit, so we'd have another flight to Omaha - the city I've been trying to leave for 2 years, now. Ugh. Tough decisions. Especially when we'd rather be spending our money on other stuff. $51,000 is enough to spend on anything.
So anyway, we didn't get an answer on Friday.
I flew back to Omaha and picked up Scooter on Saturday.
Today (Monday), we closed on our house. Hooray!!! It was supposed to happen on Friday, but things came up (see Thursday, above). Then, I get an email from the ol' lawyer. Instead of a $200 per month break on child support, they want $320. Yeah. They want their total child support payment to be 49% of their total child support obligation for the year. Um, no. The judge granted him 4 visits per year that he'd be allowed to get reimbursed for (I say reimbursed b/c technically, he's supposed to actually pay the child support that's due). So, no. I guess we're back to using the abatement process, paying the lawyer $400 to get back $100. At least with doing it this way, he actually has to do the visit to get any break on child support. The other way, he would have gotten the break either way.
I think we all could use a little distance from this. It's been heated. It's getting worse. I know I'll get slammed for this, but I think we should just back off (and document the crap out of our lives) for a while, and then in a year or so, really nail him. It's kind of how we won this thing in the first place. We just sat back and let him do his thing for years. Then, when we wanted to do something, all we had to do was point out his past actions, and we got what we wanted...
Monday, August 20, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Interesting...
So either my web browser at work was updated/a patch was installed or google has made my blog admin site backwards compatible with the ancient browser we use at work. Either way, I can access the ol' blog again. Do you know what that means? I'll be writing more. Again. Or not. I guess we'll see.
It's a lot easier to spill your guts to the anonymous internet (even when I'm not anonymous to you) when there's a big, scary life event happening. But at this point, things are relatively settled. Kind of. Except days like today, when you email the ex for what should be a routine exchange surrounding pick up/drop off times and it turns into a full on battle of ridiculousness. I mean, it's not like Scooter isn't going to come home this week. Because she is. And if she doesn't come home when she's supposed to, he'll pay the difference.
Man, I just wish ONE interaction with that man wouldn't leave me shaking with stress and anger and helplessness. I just want to be able to interact with each other in a reasonable manner. You know...talk about stuff, each side being able to discuss and bring up points without being totally shut down and starting a fight. Ugh.
On an unrelated note, he owes over $2,000 in child support. I re-opened my child support enforcement case against him today. Again.
How many times does CSE have to knock on his door before he loses his job on the police force? I guess that's one way to get out of paying child support.
It's a lot easier to spill your guts to the anonymous internet (even when I'm not anonymous to you) when there's a big, scary life event happening. But at this point, things are relatively settled. Kind of. Except days like today, when you email the ex for what should be a routine exchange surrounding pick up/drop off times and it turns into a full on battle of ridiculousness. I mean, it's not like Scooter isn't going to come home this week. Because she is. And if she doesn't come home when she's supposed to, he'll pay the difference.
Man, I just wish ONE interaction with that man wouldn't leave me shaking with stress and anger and helplessness. I just want to be able to interact with each other in a reasonable manner. You know...talk about stuff, each side being able to discuss and bring up points without being totally shut down and starting a fight. Ugh.
On an unrelated note, he owes over $2,000 in child support. I re-opened my child support enforcement case against him today. Again.
How many times does CSE have to knock on his door before he loses his job on the police force? I guess that's one way to get out of paying child support.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Away, away
I've had trouble keeping up with this thing since my browser at work is no longer supported by google. We're in the dark ages (yes, I work in IT; no, I cannot make decisions as to when we upgrade our software). It's too difficult (read: I'm too lazy) to actually think about, type, edit, publish a blog from home in the evenings. So I don't. I've tried composing blogs and saving them in my email so all I have to do is copy/paste when I get home, but alas, I have 4 unfinished blog entries in my email and no desire to finish/publish them.
So here's a quick (or long) recap of the past 6 or 8 months.
Dec: the ex finished up his appeal brief and submitted it to the court.
Jan: we finished up our answer/cross appeal brief and submitted it to the court. The cross appeal was about the fairness of the child support portion of the ruling. Basically, as it stood, the ex would get 100% abatement of child support for 2 months in the summer (that's ok. we said actually suggested that). But...he would also be able to abate up to 100% of hotel and airfare costs he incurs in ANY month he comes to Portland to visit. Essentially last year, he abated every month except 2, one of which he tried to abate. We thought that was unfair.
Feb: the ex finished up his reply brief, thus ending the brief portion of the appeals process. One sentence read, "Again, appellant would be happy to pay his full child support obligation, if Appellee's request for removal is overturned..." To me, it sounds like blackmail.
Mar: we waited with baited breath to see the court call schedule - there was also a chance that they could just rule w/o hearing oral arguments.
April: we made it to the proposed call - meaning we would be presenting oral arguments in June, unless they ruled w/o argument.
May: waiting, waiting.
June: School got out. We desperately tried to find a house to put an offer in on before Scooter had to leave. We put one in, but we ended up pulling out of negotiations. Ben took Scooter back to Omaha on the same day (coincidentally) as oral arguments. The lawyer called all giddy with excitement over how arguments went. 99% of the time was spent discussing our cross appeal.
July: We put in an offer on a house, but it was rejected. We were dejected. I stalked the appeals court website for an opinion. We got one. We won. Big time. Our cross appeal was remanded (meaning the trial court has to fix it), and we successfully defended the actual appeal. We put another offer in a house. It was accepted. Bubba and I went to summer camp with Scooter, my mom and all the cousins. My sister, Ami, stayed the whole time with us. It was so great to see everyone. So great.
August: It's just started, but already, we had the hearing w/ the trial judge. The visits that the ex can get reimbursed for is capped at 4 per year. He still has the 2 months in the summer, so effectively his child support obligation is about 50% of what it would be if we were in Omaha. But to be honest, in mediation (back in November 2010), I offered that he wouldn't have to pay ANY child support if he'd just agree to settle out of court, and he said no, so I'm still better off that we could have been (minus the $51,000 we've spent on the lawyer - so far). We'll close on the house on the 21st. Scooter comes home in less than 2 weeks. Things are definitely looking up for us in Oregon.
So here's a quick (or long) recap of the past 6 or 8 months.
Dec: the ex finished up his appeal brief and submitted it to the court.
Jan: we finished up our answer/cross appeal brief and submitted it to the court. The cross appeal was about the fairness of the child support portion of the ruling. Basically, as it stood, the ex would get 100% abatement of child support for 2 months in the summer (that's ok. we said actually suggested that). But...he would also be able to abate up to 100% of hotel and airfare costs he incurs in ANY month he comes to Portland to visit. Essentially last year, he abated every month except 2, one of which he tried to abate. We thought that was unfair.
Feb: the ex finished up his reply brief, thus ending the brief portion of the appeals process. One sentence read, "Again, appellant would be happy to pay his full child support obligation, if Appellee's request for removal is overturned..." To me, it sounds like blackmail.
Mar: we waited with baited breath to see the court call schedule - there was also a chance that they could just rule w/o hearing oral arguments.
April: we made it to the proposed call - meaning we would be presenting oral arguments in June, unless they ruled w/o argument.
May: waiting, waiting.
June: School got out. We desperately tried to find a house to put an offer in on before Scooter had to leave. We put one in, but we ended up pulling out of negotiations. Ben took Scooter back to Omaha on the same day (coincidentally) as oral arguments. The lawyer called all giddy with excitement over how arguments went. 99% of the time was spent discussing our cross appeal.
July: We put in an offer on a house, but it was rejected. We were dejected. I stalked the appeals court website for an opinion. We got one. We won. Big time. Our cross appeal was remanded (meaning the trial court has to fix it), and we successfully defended the actual appeal. We put another offer in a house. It was accepted. Bubba and I went to summer camp with Scooter, my mom and all the cousins. My sister, Ami, stayed the whole time with us. It was so great to see everyone. So great.
August: It's just started, but already, we had the hearing w/ the trial judge. The visits that the ex can get reimbursed for is capped at 4 per year. He still has the 2 months in the summer, so effectively his child support obligation is about 50% of what it would be if we were in Omaha. But to be honest, in mediation (back in November 2010), I offered that he wouldn't have to pay ANY child support if he'd just agree to settle out of court, and he said no, so I'm still better off that we could have been (minus the $51,000 we've spent on the lawyer - so far). We'll close on the house on the 21st. Scooter comes home in less than 2 weeks. Things are definitely looking up for us in Oregon.
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