Scooter's not on her way here. So...in lieu of being excited to see her on Sunday, I'll be excited about seeing her on May 21st. I'm done being all depressed and dumbfounded (that gaping-mouth look is not a good one on me). There are plenty of little things I can look forward to in order to get me out of this little funk I'm in.
1. I can look forward to my hair cut on Wednesday. I really, really need to get some "before" shots taken to go with my "after" shots.
2. I can look forward to closing on my house (selling, not buying - don't get too excited).
3. I can look forward to Ben coming home (either Sunday night or Monday morning, depending on how today goes).
4. I can look forward to my dad coming to visit. Sure...it happens after Scooter comes home, but still. It's something I'm looking forward to.
5. I can look forward to going to Mexico with my in laws.
There are a few things, however, that I'm not looking forward to. We might as well balance out this happy-fest with some reality.
1. I'm not looking forward to cashing out every dime I've ever invested in my Roth.
2. I'm not looking forward to the next (or next four, depending on if there's an appeal to defend) lawyer's bills.
3. I'm not looking forward to sending Scooter back to Omaha for 2 months this summer...less than 5 weeks after I go get her.
4. I'm especially not looking forward to Mother's day next week. My daughter was the only thing I wanted this year for Mother's day.
But as a wise person once said (and I'm too lazy to actually look this one up, so you can attribute it to whoever you want), "Tough times don't last...tough people do."
I'm tough. And in 4 days, I'll have a tough-girl haircut to prove it.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
You can do it!
My husband often makes fun of my questionable taste in music. I'll admit. I grew up on mall-music. I had older sisters who listened to "good" music, but I was so far removed, I probably stopped listening to that in elementary school, and by the time I was making my own musical decisions, MTV had gone downhill.
I find merit in catchy, meaningless music. It can make you feel a little groovy, even if it's empty grooviness. I also deeply appreciate Ben's music. One of the most memorable times of my life was sitting in the Royal Festival Hall in London, UK and listening to Tindersticks play the most beautiful, soulful music I'd ever heard.
But I've got to tell you. This morning, No Doubt's "You Can Do It" off their Tragic Kingdom album popped into the "play all" playlist on my ipod, and I didn't skip over it. I haven't been particularly discerning today. I've actually been pretty busy with my job, and the noise of the headphones kind of keeps me focused. I've taken breathers and noticed the songs of Ella Fitzgerald, The Strokes, and Madonna, but that No Doubt song actually made me cock an ear and listen to the words. Exerpts below:
...Let's make an end
To this sad, sad song
For you it's hard to take
'Cause the pill has an awful taste
Just open up and swallow down
Once it hits bottom
Things may turn around
Unfortunately this is the case
You've got to catch up
And win the race
Straighten yourself out
You can do it...
...I know it seems
They're messing with your mind
But you don't have to go
Forward blind
So let the bygones be hygone
And let's make an end
To this sad, sad song
So as "fluff" as their music may be, I'm glad I had that little pick me up this morning.
I find merit in catchy, meaningless music. It can make you feel a little groovy, even if it's empty grooviness. I also deeply appreciate Ben's music. One of the most memorable times of my life was sitting in the Royal Festival Hall in London, UK and listening to Tindersticks play the most beautiful, soulful music I'd ever heard.
But I've got to tell you. This morning, No Doubt's "You Can Do It" off their Tragic Kingdom album popped into the "play all" playlist on my ipod, and I didn't skip over it. I haven't been particularly discerning today. I've actually been pretty busy with my job, and the noise of the headphones kind of keeps me focused. I've taken breathers and noticed the songs of Ella Fitzgerald, The Strokes, and Madonna, but that No Doubt song actually made me cock an ear and listen to the words. Exerpts below:
...Let's make an end
To this sad, sad song
For you it's hard to take
'Cause the pill has an awful taste
Just open up and swallow down
Once it hits bottom
Things may turn around
Unfortunately this is the case
You've got to catch up
And win the race
Straighten yourself out
You can do it...
...I know it seems
They're messing with your mind
But you don't have to go
Forward blind
So let the bygones be hygone
And let's make an end
To this sad, sad song
So as "fluff" as their music may be, I'm glad I had that little pick me up this morning.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
blah
No post today (well...yesterday for most of the US). Bad news. Blah blah blah.
I'm now slightly drunk (buzzing hard?) on the 3 beers I've had in the past few hours since Bubba went to bed. It's a really good brew from a local micro brew (buy local!). Coffee infused porter, which tastes like a stout. I like my beers dark. I think my migraine might finally be going away. Thanks, caffeine!
Today felt much like December 13th...the first day of the trial, when I was on the stand for 6 hours and we didn't finish. On that day, it became clear that I'd have to wait 2 more months until the next trial date. The only difference (well, I guess there's two) was that 1. at that time, my future was still up in the air, and 2. I had to wait for 2 months instead of 3 weeks. Today, I found out I have to wait 3 more weeks to hold my baby girl in my arms again. Ugh. On a good note, though, I can keep holding her for the next 12 years, as long as I wait until May 21st.
I'm going to have to withdraw my invitation to my sister in law for this weekend. There will be no "welcome home" party on Sunday. But I guess, in the "big picture," I'm OK with that. Because there WILL be a "welcome home" party on the 21st, and that time, it'll be for real.
I didn't get to talk to Scooter tonight. She never answered her phone, and my calls to her temporary caretakers were unanswered. That hurt. But it wasn't entirely unexpected. They're not the type of people who care about Scooter and her need to talk to her mom. Fortunately for them, I understand the importance of maintaining and encouraging their relationship. I only wish the same "courtesy" were shown to me.
I did, however, get to hug my boy, and we took comfort in each other. He misses his dad, now. So do I. We will both be excited when he comes home. I can't put into words how wonderful Ben is. He has supported me in ways that were probably unfathomable to him or I a few years ago. He has seen me spend our life savings in the past 9 months, jumped through innumerable hoops set up by the ex, and always offered me the support and words that I needed to get through this. How I have been so lucky, I don't know. Maybe it's all the pennies I've found in the past 9 months.
Today was a bad day. Tomorrow is a new one, and it'll be what I make of it. I can choose to let today bring me down, or I can look forward to the next day. I hope I make the right choice. I hope we all do.
I'm now slightly drunk (buzzing hard?) on the 3 beers I've had in the past few hours since Bubba went to bed. It's a really good brew from a local micro brew (buy local!). Coffee infused porter, which tastes like a stout. I like my beers dark. I think my migraine might finally be going away. Thanks, caffeine!
Today felt much like December 13th...the first day of the trial, when I was on the stand for 6 hours and we didn't finish. On that day, it became clear that I'd have to wait 2 more months until the next trial date. The only difference (well, I guess there's two) was that 1. at that time, my future was still up in the air, and 2. I had to wait for 2 months instead of 3 weeks. Today, I found out I have to wait 3 more weeks to hold my baby girl in my arms again. Ugh. On a good note, though, I can keep holding her for the next 12 years, as long as I wait until May 21st.
I'm going to have to withdraw my invitation to my sister in law for this weekend. There will be no "welcome home" party on Sunday. But I guess, in the "big picture," I'm OK with that. Because there WILL be a "welcome home" party on the 21st, and that time, it'll be for real.
I didn't get to talk to Scooter tonight. She never answered her phone, and my calls to her temporary caretakers were unanswered. That hurt. But it wasn't entirely unexpected. They're not the type of people who care about Scooter and her need to talk to her mom. Fortunately for them, I understand the importance of maintaining and encouraging their relationship. I only wish the same "courtesy" were shown to me.
I did, however, get to hug my boy, and we took comfort in each other. He misses his dad, now. So do I. We will both be excited when he comes home. I can't put into words how wonderful Ben is. He has supported me in ways that were probably unfathomable to him or I a few years ago. He has seen me spend our life savings in the past 9 months, jumped through innumerable hoops set up by the ex, and always offered me the support and words that I needed to get through this. How I have been so lucky, I don't know. Maybe it's all the pennies I've found in the past 9 months.
Today was a bad day. Tomorrow is a new one, and it'll be what I make of it. I can choose to let today bring me down, or I can look forward to the next day. I hope I make the right choice. I hope we all do.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Coulda been so beautiful...
Today was the day I was supposed to get my hair cut. The glorious, life changing hair cut that would solve all my problems. The thing is, one of my problems popped up, and I had to re-schedule the hair appointment for next Wednesday.
It's not that I COULDN'T have gotten my hair cut tonight. It just would have meant that Bubba would have to stay at daycare an extra hour past my normal get-home time, which would mean an extra three hours at daycare for him since Ben usually picks him up well before I get home. I didn't want to do that to the poor little buddy. So...I have another week to grow this hair out some more before it's gone.
If I'm feeling brave, I'll post pics of my long hair later. A week from now, I'll post pics of my short hair. I prefer it short, but Ben prefers it long. Lucky for him, I start growing it out as soon as I chop it off for the next round of Locks of Love. The problem with making hair donations is that I can't really manage to grow it out every year. The nice thing is that when it does come time to chop it all off, I'm ready for it to go.
In other news, I found 3 pennies yesterday and 1 so far today. I actually found 2, but one was in the middle of a busy street, so I couldn't really go pick it up. I'll see if it's still there on my way home.
22 hours from now, we'll know whether or not the judge has decided to sign the order. All signs point to "yes." I'm going to need to find another penny (or 12) tomorrow morning!
It's not that I COULDN'T have gotten my hair cut tonight. It just would have meant that Bubba would have to stay at daycare an extra hour past my normal get-home time, which would mean an extra three hours at daycare for him since Ben usually picks him up well before I get home. I didn't want to do that to the poor little buddy. So...I have another week to grow this hair out some more before it's gone.
If I'm feeling brave, I'll post pics of my long hair later. A week from now, I'll post pics of my short hair. I prefer it short, but Ben prefers it long. Lucky for him, I start growing it out as soon as I chop it off for the next round of Locks of Love. The problem with making hair donations is that I can't really manage to grow it out every year. The nice thing is that when it does come time to chop it all off, I'm ready for it to go.
In other news, I found 3 pennies yesterday and 1 so far today. I actually found 2, but one was in the middle of a busy street, so I couldn't really go pick it up. I'll see if it's still there on my way home.
22 hours from now, we'll know whether or not the judge has decided to sign the order. All signs point to "yes." I'm going to need to find another penny (or 12) tomorrow morning!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Her heart's in Oregon
I talked to Scooter last night. I do that everynight. But last night was special. Last night I told her that Ben would be picking her up on Friday. Much elation and a HUGE sigh of relief from that end of the phone. She asked to talk to Bubba, who was sitting in his high chair waiting for food. She told him she was coming home. Not that she was going to move with us, not that she was coming out here to stay, but that she was coming home. That, and she couldn't wait to play with him. She's counting down the days. So am I.
In an attempt to further delay, the other side told my lawyer yesterday that we had worked out an arrangement for Scooter to finish the school year in Omaha. Yet ANOTHER in a long list of lies. And that one was just dumb. I mean, it's very easy to prove that I never agreed to that. We have email upon email where I don't agree with that. I asked for Scooter to stay out here after the ruling came down, for crying out loud. I balked at the ex enrolling her in a soccer season that she likely wouldn't finish. HE even said that he told the coach that Scooter would likely not finish the season...??
They also came up with last-minute "plans" to take Scooter out of town. So we'll see how all of this goes down. It could end up very badly for the ex if he doesn't comply with a court order - one that will be signed on Thursday. And, of course, the haggling over child support. That thorn in our sides will never go away (or...not until Scooter becomes emancipated, joins the armed forces, becomes of legal age in NE - 19, marries, or becomes sufficiently employed as to care for herself). I'd be willing to delay his payments until June, but my lawyer is sick of the BS. Frankly, so am I, but I've dealt with it for years, now, and I guess I'm used to just rolling over and letting him have his way. The lawyer is at the point in this relationship that he's gone from feeling sorry for the ex, to giving him the benefit of the doubt, to realizing that every one of his actions is retaliatory and immature. So...in a phrase, the lawyer is fed up, and we're not backing down as to the ex's obligation. That's also fine by me, as long as we still get Scooter this week...
Every time Ben leaves the house, Bubba asks, "Daddy get *Scooter?" And every time, I say, "no. Daddy's at the [gym, grocery, store, where ever he really is]." I can't wait to say, "YES!!! Daddy's getting *Scooter!!)
* Name changed. Bubba usually uses her real name...
In an attempt to further delay, the other side told my lawyer yesterday that we had worked out an arrangement for Scooter to finish the school year in Omaha. Yet ANOTHER in a long list of lies. And that one was just dumb. I mean, it's very easy to prove that I never agreed to that. We have email upon email where I don't agree with that. I asked for Scooter to stay out here after the ruling came down, for crying out loud. I balked at the ex enrolling her in a soccer season that she likely wouldn't finish. HE even said that he told the coach that Scooter would likely not finish the season...??
They also came up with last-minute "plans" to take Scooter out of town. So we'll see how all of this goes down. It could end up very badly for the ex if he doesn't comply with a court order - one that will be signed on Thursday. And, of course, the haggling over child support. That thorn in our sides will never go away (or...not until Scooter becomes emancipated, joins the armed forces, becomes of legal age in NE - 19, marries, or becomes sufficiently employed as to care for herself). I'd be willing to delay his payments until June, but my lawyer is sick of the BS. Frankly, so am I, but I've dealt with it for years, now, and I guess I'm used to just rolling over and letting him have his way. The lawyer is at the point in this relationship that he's gone from feeling sorry for the ex, to giving him the benefit of the doubt, to realizing that every one of his actions is retaliatory and immature. So...in a phrase, the lawyer is fed up, and we're not backing down as to the ex's obligation. That's also fine by me, as long as we still get Scooter this week...
Every time Ben leaves the house, Bubba asks, "Daddy get *Scooter?" And every time, I say, "no. Daddy's at the [gym, grocery, store, where ever he really is]." I can't wait to say, "YES!!! Daddy's getting *Scooter!!)
* Name changed. Bubba usually uses her real name...
Monday, April 25, 2011
Malaria Day
Today is Malaria Awareness Day. So...go out there and be aware of Malaria. It kills a lot of people every year, and it's completely unnecessary.
It's also raining again. We had such beautiful weather on Saturday (like...75 and BRIGHT sunshine). Sunday was a little cooler, with drizzly sprinkles punctuated by moments of sunshine. Today, it's raining harder than I've seen it rain here. I got soaked on my way into work.
I'm pretty OK with it, though, because we ACCEPTED AN OFFER ON OUR HOUSE!!! By the end of May, we will be the proud owners of no real estate. Hooray!!! The wheels of life were a little mired in mud and slightly rusty, but they're starting to turn again.
We also got word from the "other" front. Things are picking up steam, and Ben has booked his flight back to Omaha. Hopefully, everything goes smoothly, for Scooter's sake.
Along those lines, a disturbing piece of news about a divorce proceedings in Florida (link here). You never think it'll happen to you until it happens to you. And this, boys and girls, is why we don't ever, ever bring guns into court rooms in which we are parties to the lawsuit. Duh. Those things can be emotionally charged. I'm glad things remained "civil" during our proceedings, at least. Generally, though, the ex only has a spine when there is a safe distance between him and anyone with half a mind to bring charges against him.
It's also raining again. We had such beautiful weather on Saturday (like...75 and BRIGHT sunshine). Sunday was a little cooler, with drizzly sprinkles punctuated by moments of sunshine. Today, it's raining harder than I've seen it rain here. I got soaked on my way into work.
I'm pretty OK with it, though, because we ACCEPTED AN OFFER ON OUR HOUSE!!! By the end of May, we will be the proud owners of no real estate. Hooray!!! The wheels of life were a little mired in mud and slightly rusty, but they're starting to turn again.
We also got word from the "other" front. Things are picking up steam, and Ben has booked his flight back to Omaha. Hopefully, everything goes smoothly, for Scooter's sake.
Along those lines, a disturbing piece of news about a divorce proceedings in Florida (link here). You never think it'll happen to you until it happens to you. And this, boys and girls, is why we don't ever, ever bring guns into court rooms in which we are parties to the lawsuit. Duh. Those things can be emotionally charged. I'm glad things remained "civil" during our proceedings, at least. Generally, though, the ex only has a spine when there is a safe distance between him and anyone with half a mind to bring charges against him.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Earth Day
Today is Earth Day. This year, it shares a day with Good Friday. It makes sense: yesterday was Maundy Thursday, which celebrates Jesus' injunction to love one another, and then today, we love one another by taking care of the Earth. Or something like that. Today I did my part by taking the train to work. Except I do that everyday. Maybe I'll take the recycling out when I get home. Ben usually does that dirty job.
The "other side" has had our draft order for the judge to sign for 10 days, now. Do you think they've made any comments? No. Other than the opposing lawyer said YESTERDAY that she was going to review and get back to us YESTERDAY. When my lawyer asked about it again, she said she'd have it to us TODAY. It's 10 till 5pm out there. Nothing. Infuriating.
So ready for this to be done. So, so, so ready.
This weekend looks like it's going to be beautiful. We have plans to go to the Saturday market and then eat out of a food cart downtown. We were going to do a nice Sunday brunch, but in an effort to save $50 or so, we'll eat an equally delicious meal from one of my coworkers husband's food cart. I've eaten there twice, so far, and so far been super impressed at how delicious the Greek-food-cooked-by-a-Brazillian was. I'm excited to introduce Ben and Bubba to it tomorrow.
The "other side" has had our draft order for the judge to sign for 10 days, now. Do you think they've made any comments? No. Other than the opposing lawyer said YESTERDAY that she was going to review and get back to us YESTERDAY. When my lawyer asked about it again, she said she'd have it to us TODAY. It's 10 till 5pm out there. Nothing. Infuriating.
So ready for this to be done. So, so, so ready.
This weekend looks like it's going to be beautiful. We have plans to go to the Saturday market and then eat out of a food cart downtown. We were going to do a nice Sunday brunch, but in an effort to save $50 or so, we'll eat an equally delicious meal from one of my coworkers husband's food cart. I've eaten there twice, so far, and so far been super impressed at how delicious the Greek-food-cooked-by-a-Brazillian was. I'm excited to introduce Ben and Bubba to it tomorrow.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Train drain
As gas prices have gone up, I've noticed my regular trains have been filling up. It used to be that in the morning, as long as I made it onto my #1, #2, or #3 trains, I'd definitely have a seat, and if I made it onto #4, I would sometimes get a seat. Nowadays, I generally only make my #3 or #4 trains, but either way, there's never a seat, anymore. I've gotten quite good at reading while standing up on a moving train. It's like surfing, but when you fall, you generally land on people or the floor instead of water. I'm not going to complain about never getting a seat, anymore. Being able to read while saving $100 a month sure beats raging at other drivers on the commute. Yesterady, I had to ride my #5 train, since #4 never showed up.
#5 is usually less busy than #4, but with the influx of all the #4 train passengers, #5 was brimming with people. A kind gentleman had to ask someone in front of me to move in a little just so I'd fit in the door. The busiest stop on my commute is the Sunset transit center (1st stop on the way into work), and a huge (2 trains worth) group of people were waiting to board. One woman in particular was in a foul mood. She griped the whole way to my stop. "where did all of these people come from? Why was the train late? sheesh! there are so many people on here. Seriously? nobody's getting off at this stop? Sheesh, I hope no bikers try to get on." The stop she was referring to was the Oregon zoo/Children's museum/washington park stop, and I can tell you from months of experience riding this route that NOBODY gets off at that stop at 7:30 in the morning during the week. Ever. Her little tissy fit was punctuated with dirty looks to the people standing near her. She was standing in the designated bike area, with much more personal space than anyone else in our immediate vicinity.
The other riders were their normal jolly selves. There are usually several people who talk to each other, and everyone else kind of zones out in their own world for a minute. Yesterday, two gentlemen were discussing their love of fishing. They had just met, and by the time I got to my stop, one was offering the other his business card, so they could go fishing together sometime. The only negative energy on the train was emanating from her. I kind of wished a biker did hop on the train, just so I could push her out the door and tell her to wait for the next one. She did her best to ruin the ride for everyone else. If she seriously hates the train that much, there are several buses that would take her to where ever she was going. Or, better yet, she should have driven. Then she could rage by herself.
The ride home is always packed like that, unless I happen upon my #3 train, which is the red line from the airport. Even though it follows the same route as the blue all through downtown, people don't take it, for whatever reason. Maybe she's used to trains like that. Maybe she was having a bad morning. Either way, sometimes, silence is the best policy.
#5 is usually less busy than #4, but with the influx of all the #4 train passengers, #5 was brimming with people. A kind gentleman had to ask someone in front of me to move in a little just so I'd fit in the door. The busiest stop on my commute is the Sunset transit center (1st stop on the way into work), and a huge (2 trains worth) group of people were waiting to board. One woman in particular was in a foul mood. She griped the whole way to my stop. "where did all of these people come from? Why was the train late? sheesh! there are so many people on here. Seriously? nobody's getting off at this stop? Sheesh, I hope no bikers try to get on." The stop she was referring to was the Oregon zoo/Children's museum/washington park stop, and I can tell you from months of experience riding this route that NOBODY gets off at that stop at 7:30 in the morning during the week. Ever. Her little tissy fit was punctuated with dirty looks to the people standing near her. She was standing in the designated bike area, with much more personal space than anyone else in our immediate vicinity.
The other riders were their normal jolly selves. There are usually several people who talk to each other, and everyone else kind of zones out in their own world for a minute. Yesterday, two gentlemen were discussing their love of fishing. They had just met, and by the time I got to my stop, one was offering the other his business card, so they could go fishing together sometime. The only negative energy on the train was emanating from her. I kind of wished a biker did hop on the train, just so I could push her out the door and tell her to wait for the next one. She did her best to ruin the ride for everyone else. If she seriously hates the train that much, there are several buses that would take her to where ever she was going. Or, better yet, she should have driven. Then she could rage by herself.
The ride home is always packed like that, unless I happen upon my #3 train, which is the red line from the airport. Even though it follows the same route as the blue all through downtown, people don't take it, for whatever reason. Maybe she's used to trains like that. Maybe she was having a bad morning. Either way, sometimes, silence is the best policy.
Coming Home
I got this song stuck in my head on my way into the gym today. Maybe not so much the "diddy" part of the song, but the chorus makes me think of Scooter. Hopefully, she'll be singing this soon:
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the World I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the World that I’m coming
The ex is going to allow Scooter to spend time with my in-laws this weekend. Hallelujah! I'm pretty sure he doesn't allow Scooter to spend time with my mom because it hurts me when he makes those random decisions. I'm just thankful that she'll get to spend Easter with people who love her.
My mom cleaned up our landscaping yesterday. Hopefully, it makes a difference in the presentation of the house for prosective buyers. Ben will be back next week to mow. Maybe he should bury a statue of St. Joe while he's there. I'm ready to try anything at this point.
We took Bubba to the allergist yesterday, just to check him out. It turns out, he has no (ZERO) environmental allergies (so far...), which was great news. The bad news, though, is that he has a pretty serious allergy to cashews, which can lead to other tree nut allergies in the future, and have only a 10-15% chance of going away as he gets older. Drat. The OK news is that so far, he's been fine with other nuts (almonds, hazel nuts, brazil nuts, etc). The recommended course of action is to have him continue to eat those nuts at least weekly in small doses, so we can keep the allergy confined to just cashews. We also have to have epipens available to daycare and at home. Ugh.
And, he's had 10-12 viruses per year (thanks, daycare!), which has caused him to exhibit asthma signs. Apparently repeated exposure to viruses can also lead to asthma? At least it's not allergy-induced (yet). As soon as we're in a home, we're going to start looking hard at getting a nanny, again. Any volunteers?
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the World I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the World that I’m coming
The ex is going to allow Scooter to spend time with my in-laws this weekend. Hallelujah! I'm pretty sure he doesn't allow Scooter to spend time with my mom because it hurts me when he makes those random decisions. I'm just thankful that she'll get to spend Easter with people who love her.
My mom cleaned up our landscaping yesterday. Hopefully, it makes a difference in the presentation of the house for prosective buyers. Ben will be back next week to mow. Maybe he should bury a statue of St. Joe while he's there. I'm ready to try anything at this point.
We took Bubba to the allergist yesterday, just to check him out. It turns out, he has no (ZERO) environmental allergies (so far...), which was great news. The bad news, though, is that he has a pretty serious allergy to cashews, which can lead to other tree nut allergies in the future, and have only a 10-15% chance of going away as he gets older. Drat. The OK news is that so far, he's been fine with other nuts (almonds, hazel nuts, brazil nuts, etc). The recommended course of action is to have him continue to eat those nuts at least weekly in small doses, so we can keep the allergy confined to just cashews. We also have to have epipens available to daycare and at home. Ugh.
And, he's had 10-12 viruses per year (thanks, daycare!), which has caused him to exhibit asthma signs. Apparently repeated exposure to viruses can also lead to asthma? At least it's not allergy-induced (yet). As soon as we're in a home, we're going to start looking hard at getting a nanny, again. Any volunteers?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Pay Day
No, I didn't get paid today. That won't happen for another week and a half, and that paycheck is already spoken for. They all are, these days.
Today is actually National Equal Pay Day. The write up I have about it says, "This day symbolizes the day when an average American woman's earnings finally match what an average American man earned in the past year." (emphasis added). Yeah. It's a SYMBOL of me making the same as my cube-mate. Because it may or may not actually be happening in cubes across America. How strange.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't happening at my last job. Not that I'll complain too much. The 1 time I asked for a substantial raise, I got it. The 1 time I asked for another day of vacation, however, not so much. My last job wasn't as concerned with equal pay as they were with equal vacation days.
But as a product of a single, working mother, I'm a little put out about the fact that she likely wouldn't have made as much as her male counterparts had she worked in the private sector. I also have 3 sisters who are the sole (or majority) breadwinners for their families. We're doing our part to "reshape attitudes" about working women. Looking broader, what about the "mancession" that we're climbing out of? Were companies firing the higher wage-earners in an attempt to cut costs where they could or was it soley because the industries hardest hit were male dominated? What does that mean for families who now have to rely on mom's income to get by until dad can find another job? Wouldn't it be great if mom earned market rate for her job? Or maybe we should adjust market rate for men down to woman-levels.
Or maybe I don't really care about this as much as this blog leads you to believe. The word, "symbolizes" just caught my attention.
Today is actually National Equal Pay Day. The write up I have about it says, "This day symbolizes the day when an average American woman's earnings finally match what an average American man earned in the past year." (emphasis added). Yeah. It's a SYMBOL of me making the same as my cube-mate. Because it may or may not actually be happening in cubes across America. How strange.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't happening at my last job. Not that I'll complain too much. The 1 time I asked for a substantial raise, I got it. The 1 time I asked for another day of vacation, however, not so much. My last job wasn't as concerned with equal pay as they were with equal vacation days.
But as a product of a single, working mother, I'm a little put out about the fact that she likely wouldn't have made as much as her male counterparts had she worked in the private sector. I also have 3 sisters who are the sole (or majority) breadwinners for their families. We're doing our part to "reshape attitudes" about working women. Looking broader, what about the "mancession" that we're climbing out of? Were companies firing the higher wage-earners in an attempt to cut costs where they could or was it soley because the industries hardest hit were male dominated? What does that mean for families who now have to rely on mom's income to get by until dad can find another job? Wouldn't it be great if mom earned market rate for her job? Or maybe we should adjust market rate for men down to woman-levels.
Or maybe I don't really care about this as much as this blog leads you to believe. The word, "symbolizes" just caught my attention.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
what's worse than a sick husband?
A sick husband and a sick kid.
Actually, Ben was (as of the moment I left for work on Monday) feeling better. Bubba, on the other hand, barfed and/or dry heaved since the moment I left for work until about 11am or so. Poor guys.
Ben was sick all weekend. I still managed to make it to the gym both days, though. Hooray for naptime and morning cuddles. Saturday, Bubba and I went to a pancake breakfast before we all headed out to some camera stores downtown. We didn't find what Ben was looking for, though, and returned home empty-handed.
Sunday, we looked at a few houses. I really need our Omaha house to sell. I'm ready to buy out here.
Yesterday was a busy one for me at work. I did manage to get my noonish walk in, but as soon as I was several blocks from work, it started raining/sleeting. I hurried back, and as soon as I got my jacket off and sat down, the sun was shining again. It reminded me of a conversation that my friends and I had a few weeks ago regarding having a rain cloud follow you around. I think it's happening. Great.
After work, we headed to the Adidas employee store for some discounted gear. The US headquarters is here in Portland, and every once in a while, they invite my works' employees to check out their stuff at a discount. It's nice. Bubba got a pair of sambas, and Ben got some running shoes.
Today is another busy one. I had to finish a few things under the gun this morning. I felt like that programmer in Swordfish, only instead of a gun to my head, I had coffee on my desk.
I'm still gymming it up in the mornings. I've lost 6 pounds since Ben's been out here. I'm back to pre-Bubba weight. It only took 26 months to lose the 65 pounds I gained with him. No more! The number's there, but the shape is still a little wonky. I guess that's what being a 30+ year old mom will do to you. As long as I'm in tri-shape later this summer, I guess I can live with this.
Actually, Ben was (as of the moment I left for work on Monday) feeling better. Bubba, on the other hand, barfed and/or dry heaved since the moment I left for work until about 11am or so. Poor guys.
Ben was sick all weekend. I still managed to make it to the gym both days, though. Hooray for naptime and morning cuddles. Saturday, Bubba and I went to a pancake breakfast before we all headed out to some camera stores downtown. We didn't find what Ben was looking for, though, and returned home empty-handed.
Sunday, we looked at a few houses. I really need our Omaha house to sell. I'm ready to buy out here.
Yesterday was a busy one for me at work. I did manage to get my noonish walk in, but as soon as I was several blocks from work, it started raining/sleeting. I hurried back, and as soon as I got my jacket off and sat down, the sun was shining again. It reminded me of a conversation that my friends and I had a few weeks ago regarding having a rain cloud follow you around. I think it's happening. Great.
After work, we headed to the Adidas employee store for some discounted gear. The US headquarters is here in Portland, and every once in a while, they invite my works' employees to check out their stuff at a discount. It's nice. Bubba got a pair of sambas, and Ben got some running shoes.
Today is another busy one. I had to finish a few things under the gun this morning. I felt like that programmer in Swordfish, only instead of a gun to my head, I had coffee on my desk.
I'm still gymming it up in the mornings. I've lost 6 pounds since Ben's been out here. I'm back to pre-Bubba weight. It only took 26 months to lose the 65 pounds I gained with him. No more! The number's there, but the shape is still a little wonky. I guess that's what being a 30+ year old mom will do to you. As long as I'm in tri-shape later this summer, I guess I can live with this.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Stress. It hurts, don't it?
I've been an anxiety ball for about 9 months, now. No...I'm not a first time mom with jitters. I'm an established mother who has been fighting to have her daughter move with her. I won, but she's still not here. Things are coming to a head. It's hard.
Sometime between the ruling being handed down and today, I've heard, over the phone, my daughter's spirit deteriorate. She's not the same girl she was a year ago - or even a month ago. It's so hard to keep doing this night after night. I call. I call again. She eventually calls back with about 10 minutes to talk before she has to go to bed. She is sad. She is lonely. She doesn't understand why she's still in Omaha. I don't, either.
And now, she can't go to church with my mom on Sunday. It'll be Palm Sunday, Scooter's favorite day for church. Every year since she was born, she'd come home from Palm Sunday service with a palm leaf cross. It's something she looks forward to each year. It's something she won't be able to do this year. Not because she's in Portland, and Nona's church is in Omaha. It's because it's too much stress for her father to allow my mom to pick her up, take her to church, and bring her home.
I get it. You're selling your house. You are responsible for taking Scooter to her soccer game Sunday afternoon. You lost your court case. It's stressful. But it's your stress. All of those things that are stressing you out are because of decisions you made. Not me. Definitely not Scooter. She shouldn't have to suffer/feel depressed/be cut off from her mom because of your stress. You're not the only one hurting in this situation. Your actions are hurting others. Get over it. Start making some choices that move your life (and other people's lives) in a better direction. It's up to you. Nobody else can live your life for you. No matter what has gone down in the past few months or years or forever, your future starts today with the actions you make today.
Scooter, my mom, me, my friends and family are all on this train that you're driving. Pull the lever to put this train on the right track because you're about to lead us into a tunnel and the light on the other side isn't the sun.
Sometime between the ruling being handed down and today, I've heard, over the phone, my daughter's spirit deteriorate. She's not the same girl she was a year ago - or even a month ago. It's so hard to keep doing this night after night. I call. I call again. She eventually calls back with about 10 minutes to talk before she has to go to bed. She is sad. She is lonely. She doesn't understand why she's still in Omaha. I don't, either.
And now, she can't go to church with my mom on Sunday. It'll be Palm Sunday, Scooter's favorite day for church. Every year since she was born, she'd come home from Palm Sunday service with a palm leaf cross. It's something she looks forward to each year. It's something she won't be able to do this year. Not because she's in Portland, and Nona's church is in Omaha. It's because it's too much stress for her father to allow my mom to pick her up, take her to church, and bring her home.
I get it. You're selling your house. You are responsible for taking Scooter to her soccer game Sunday afternoon. You lost your court case. It's stressful. But it's your stress. All of those things that are stressing you out are because of decisions you made. Not me. Definitely not Scooter. She shouldn't have to suffer/feel depressed/be cut off from her mom because of your stress. You're not the only one hurting in this situation. Your actions are hurting others. Get over it. Start making some choices that move your life (and other people's lives) in a better direction. It's up to you. Nobody else can live your life for you. No matter what has gone down in the past few months or years or forever, your future starts today with the actions you make today.
Scooter, my mom, me, my friends and family are all on this train that you're driving. Pull the lever to put this train on the right track because you're about to lead us into a tunnel and the light on the other side isn't the sun.
Neglect = Success!
Bubba has the world's worst diaper rash. He has always been a little prone to the malady, and we've always been pretty vigilant about his back side. We notice that it flairs up after eating green beans. We notice that it's at its best when there are lots of bananas in his diet, etc. Imagine our surprise when, shortly after starting an allergy/asthma medication, his diaper rash became a constant battle. And one that we were losing. Badly.
For the past few weeks, we've been bathing him daily and using water and soft paper towels rather than wipes, which can irritate. For the past couple of days, we've kept him out of daycare and bathed him with every diaper change with baking soda in the water. Yesterday evening, we decided to just let him roam free after one of his baths. He had just urinated (into the bath water, which Ben then drained and re-filled - good thing we don't pay for water, here), so we thought we were pretty good on timing for a game of free-range chicken.
I'm not sure if anyone out there has noticed, but we're looking for a house. We have started tossing around the idea of looking farther out, which would afford us the same house for about 60% of the cost at the expense of my commute, and the daily ease of walking to the gym(s), grocery, etc. It's a trade off, I guess. Anyway, Ben was on his ipod, searching internet real estate listings. I was on the laptop doing the same. Bubba was running around the apartment naked. Neither of us noticed him go into his bedroom. Nobody noticed anything until he called, "Mama! Poo Poo!" Oh, man! I should have kept a closer eye on him.
I ran back to his bedroom, where I found his towel that he had been using (he's rather modest about walking around fully naked). No Bubba. I walked back into the hall and noticed the bathroom light on. He was inside, sitting on his little frog potty. He NEVER wants to try to sit on the potty when we ask him to. But turn him loose in nothing but a towel, and he knows right where to go. There was much applause and chocolate and smiles and phone calls after that.
In general, I am pretty anti-neglect when it comes to child rearing. Potty training could be one exception. I wonder if learning to drive a car could be another exception...
For the past few weeks, we've been bathing him daily and using water and soft paper towels rather than wipes, which can irritate. For the past couple of days, we've kept him out of daycare and bathed him with every diaper change with baking soda in the water. Yesterday evening, we decided to just let him roam free after one of his baths. He had just urinated (into the bath water, which Ben then drained and re-filled - good thing we don't pay for water, here), so we thought we were pretty good on timing for a game of free-range chicken.
I'm not sure if anyone out there has noticed, but we're looking for a house. We have started tossing around the idea of looking farther out, which would afford us the same house for about 60% of the cost at the expense of my commute, and the daily ease of walking to the gym(s), grocery, etc. It's a trade off, I guess. Anyway, Ben was on his ipod, searching internet real estate listings. I was on the laptop doing the same. Bubba was running around the apartment naked. Neither of us noticed him go into his bedroom. Nobody noticed anything until he called, "Mama! Poo Poo!" Oh, man! I should have kept a closer eye on him.
I ran back to his bedroom, where I found his towel that he had been using (he's rather modest about walking around fully naked). No Bubba. I walked back into the hall and noticed the bathroom light on. He was inside, sitting on his little frog potty. He NEVER wants to try to sit on the potty when we ask him to. But turn him loose in nothing but a towel, and he knows right where to go. There was much applause and chocolate and smiles and phone calls after that.
In general, I am pretty anti-neglect when it comes to child rearing. Potty training could be one exception. I wonder if learning to drive a car could be another exception...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
zip it.
I sat on the couch with my husband for a 30 minute conference call this morning. I took a (very) crowded train to my stop this morning and passed several people on my way into work. I checked myself in a full-length mirror after washing my hands upon arrival at work, noticing that my pants fit differently than normal. I chalked it up to the 4 pounds I've lost since December. I sat at my desk and worked for almost an hour. It wasn't until my mom called, and I got up to pace the hallway (in full view of several coworkers), that I noticed that my zipper was down.
It seems that instead of splitting my pants in the rear, as was my custom a few years ago, my new habit is to just leave the fly open instead. I wrote a previous post about my zipper problem, and I will admit that becoming an advocate for zipper awareness has helped my issues. Instead of 3-4 times a week, I'm down to about once per week. I'll head to the women's restroom, close the stall, and realize my mistake.
At this point in my employment, here, I'm pretty sure everyone in the IS department knows which pair of underpants are my favorite. They just think I'm taking the "casual" part of "business casual" a little too far...
It seems that instead of splitting my pants in the rear, as was my custom a few years ago, my new habit is to just leave the fly open instead. I wrote a previous post about my zipper problem, and I will admit that becoming an advocate for zipper awareness has helped my issues. Instead of 3-4 times a week, I'm down to about once per week. I'll head to the women's restroom, close the stall, and realize my mistake.
At this point in my employment, here, I'm pretty sure everyone in the IS department knows which pair of underpants are my favorite. They just think I'm taking the "casual" part of "business casual" a little too far...
The clock has started
My lawyer sent the draft order to opposing counsel this morning, with a note asking for either her signature (as to form only) or proposed changes to be given to us by next Thursday - 10 days from now. Hopefully, we'll have Scooter out here by May. Fingers crossed, people!
I found a penny on my way into work. Although this is nothing new, it was a little embarrassing. I saw the familiar sparkle of a penny out of the corner of my eye as I passed a tree landscaped in rocks. There was a man walking toward me. I stopped short, spun around, and studied the rocks. He looked at me. I had lost the penny, but I knew it was there. I bent over and searched a little harder. He stared at me. Success! I re-found the penny and picked it up. By this time, he had passed me, but had managed to continue to watch me as I stood back up and continued on my way.
Generally, people don't notice (or pretend not to notice) when I pick up my pennies. But then again, I generally don't walk past, turn around and then stare at rocks before picking up my pennies.
My husband's grandmother mentioned that fence staples might be worth more than a penny, so perhaps I should start looking for those as well. When I mentioned it to Ben, he said that if I'm going to start collecting fence staples, I should also pick up washers and/or nuts that I see lying around. Each of these arguments have their merits. And I do see quite a few errant washers when I'm walking around. I'm just wondering what the market is on those. I mean...can I sell a single fence post or washer on Craig's List? Or would it more of an item that we would keep in a jar for our own use? Could I build up a vast collection of nuts, bolts and fence staples and then open my own junk store a la Sampson and Sons? I have seen sinks and toilet seats on my walk as well...
I found a penny on my way into work. Although this is nothing new, it was a little embarrassing. I saw the familiar sparkle of a penny out of the corner of my eye as I passed a tree landscaped in rocks. There was a man walking toward me. I stopped short, spun around, and studied the rocks. He looked at me. I had lost the penny, but I knew it was there. I bent over and searched a little harder. He stared at me. Success! I re-found the penny and picked it up. By this time, he had passed me, but had managed to continue to watch me as I stood back up and continued on my way.
Generally, people don't notice (or pretend not to notice) when I pick up my pennies. But then again, I generally don't walk past, turn around and then stare at rocks before picking up my pennies.
My husband's grandmother mentioned that fence staples might be worth more than a penny, so perhaps I should start looking for those as well. When I mentioned it to Ben, he said that if I'm going to start collecting fence staples, I should also pick up washers and/or nuts that I see lying around. Each of these arguments have their merits. And I do see quite a few errant washers when I'm walking around. I'm just wondering what the market is on those. I mean...can I sell a single fence post or washer on Craig's List? Or would it more of an item that we would keep in a jar for our own use? Could I build up a vast collection of nuts, bolts and fence staples and then open my own junk store a la Sampson and Sons? I have seen sinks and toilet seats on my walk as well...
Monday, April 11, 2011
tap, tap, tap, tap
I'm still waiting. The lawyer said he'd get me a draft of the order on Friday to review so we could get it sent out to opposing party via certified mail today. I still don't have it. blast. Luckily, though, I am not waiting for (yet) another hearing date to hammer out details. At least that much got worked out last week.
We had a fun weekend of poorly lit photography, parks and house-hunting. The last part was actually fairly disappointing. The one I had the highest hopes for was a huge, huge disappointment. The one that I *thought* was going to be a pleasant surprise when we first walked in, ended up being a total let down as well. I mean...I guess it could have been perfect, if we needed to collect all of our marbles into one corner in the back room. yeah...the whole room/addition kind of sloped. Oops. That house's backyard also would have been an ideal place to house all the children we plan on kidnapping - lots of gates, roofed decks, and a maze of walkways between them. Oh, wait...we aren't really into kidnapping that much. That left the first house we looked at.
Ben's been wanting to look at that house since he got here. And it was a pleasant surprise (for the most part) for me. It did turn out to be a little awkward when the current homeowners were there throughout our tour. And at one point, we had to ask one of them to finish brushing his teeth so we could take a peak at the master bathroom (I didn't actually look). Bubba fell down the some-what steep, curving stairs to the upstairs bonus room. It was dark. The kitchen was sorely outdated. The "laundry room" closet was cramped. The carpet was torn away in one spot. But the price is right, and it had potential. It actually had quite a bit of potential. The question is...do we have the time, money or know-how to actually turn this house into something we'd want to live in? And is it practical for us? It's a 3 bedroom, with a bonus room upstairs, but the rooms are all really small, and the fact that there's no real office, other than the bonus room which we were hoping to be a guestroom/play room/rumpus room, etc... Argh. And that kitchen. Oh, the kitchen. Ben got a better look at it than I did. In his words, if I had seen what he saw, we wouldn't even be considering this house. But for some reason, we are.
I think if we had an extra $100k in our pockets, this wouldn't be a problem. We'd just move up a price point (or three) and get everything we wanted in our house. But, as with most things in real life, we're going to have to settle. So now the difficulty lies in which items in our long list of "needs" for the house turn back into "wants." Do we compromise on bedroom size? Number of bathrooms? Yard? Commute distance (for me)? Or do we refuse to downgrade any further, choosing to rent for another year or so and roll the dice on interest rates? If only the perfect house, in the perfect neighborhood, in the perfect price range would present itself minutes after our Omaha house sells...
Oh yeah...and someone, anyone, please buy our old house!!!
We had a fun weekend of poorly lit photography, parks and house-hunting. The last part was actually fairly disappointing. The one I had the highest hopes for was a huge, huge disappointment. The one that I *thought* was going to be a pleasant surprise when we first walked in, ended up being a total let down as well. I mean...I guess it could have been perfect, if we needed to collect all of our marbles into one corner in the back room. yeah...the whole room/addition kind of sloped. Oops. That house's backyard also would have been an ideal place to house all the children we plan on kidnapping - lots of gates, roofed decks, and a maze of walkways between them. Oh, wait...we aren't really into kidnapping that much. That left the first house we looked at.
Ben's been wanting to look at that house since he got here. And it was a pleasant surprise (for the most part) for me. It did turn out to be a little awkward when the current homeowners were there throughout our tour. And at one point, we had to ask one of them to finish brushing his teeth so we could take a peak at the master bathroom (I didn't actually look). Bubba fell down the some-what steep, curving stairs to the upstairs bonus room. It was dark. The kitchen was sorely outdated. The "laundry room" closet was cramped. The carpet was torn away in one spot. But the price is right, and it had potential. It actually had quite a bit of potential. The question is...do we have the time, money or know-how to actually turn this house into something we'd want to live in? And is it practical for us? It's a 3 bedroom, with a bonus room upstairs, but the rooms are all really small, and the fact that there's no real office, other than the bonus room which we were hoping to be a guestroom/play room/rumpus room, etc... Argh. And that kitchen. Oh, the kitchen. Ben got a better look at it than I did. In his words, if I had seen what he saw, we wouldn't even be considering this house. But for some reason, we are.
I think if we had an extra $100k in our pockets, this wouldn't be a problem. We'd just move up a price point (or three) and get everything we wanted in our house. But, as with most things in real life, we're going to have to settle. So now the difficulty lies in which items in our long list of "needs" for the house turn back into "wants." Do we compromise on bedroom size? Number of bathrooms? Yard? Commute distance (for me)? Or do we refuse to downgrade any further, choosing to rent for another year or so and roll the dice on interest rates? If only the perfect house, in the perfect neighborhood, in the perfect price range would present itself minutes after our Omaha house sells...
Oh yeah...and someone, anyone, please buy our old house!!!
open letter to loved ones
Dear <your name here>,
I have been a poor <enter relationship here> for a while, now. Several months, in fact. I know it. It was hard to realize at first, with my being so wrapped up in my own drama business. But as the months have dragged on, it has become clearer and clearer to me that I am lacking in empathy (even more so that normal) and all of those things associated with being a good <friend, sister, daughter, wife, mother, etc>.
I really appreciate all of your understanding, strength and wisdom. And even as I neglect my part of the bargain, I do know how blessed I am to have you in my life. Where would I be without the support of my friends and family? Well, without some of you, I'd be bankrupt and homeless (possibly jobless?) in Omaha. Without others, I'd still be crying.
Although I'm still as stressed as ever, at least I have now become self-aware enough to realize what a crappy friend I've been back. Please continue to be patient with me, but I do pledge to turn a corner on this bad behavior and become the friend I should have been all along.
With love,
Lori
I have been a poor <enter relationship here> for a while, now. Several months, in fact. I know it. It was hard to realize at first, with my being so wrapped up in my own drama business. But as the months have dragged on, it has become clearer and clearer to me that I am lacking in empathy (even more so that normal) and all of those things associated with being a good <friend, sister, daughter, wife, mother, etc>.
I really appreciate all of your understanding, strength and wisdom. And even as I neglect my part of the bargain, I do know how blessed I am to have you in my life. Where would I be without the support of my friends and family? Well, without some of you, I'd be bankrupt and homeless (possibly jobless?) in Omaha. Without others, I'd still be crying.
Although I'm still as stressed as ever, at least I have now become self-aware enough to realize what a crappy friend I've been back. Please continue to be patient with me, but I do pledge to turn a corner on this bad behavior and become the friend I should have been all along.
With love,
Lori
Friday, April 8, 2011
Broke.
Not only are we broke, but our beloved TV broke as well. Ben thinks it's a thermal fuse, which can be fixed for around $20.00. Either that, or a lamp, which would be closer to $100. Either way, much cheaper than an actual new TV. In the meantime, we've been reading a lot of books and watching movies from the library on the laptop. yay for the library!
Even though we're totally broke - like, poorer than I've been in a long, long time, we got pre-approved for a home loan last night. I really don't understand why a bank would offer to give us money right now, but I'll take it! We'll be looking at 2 or 3 houses this weekend. Yay! Unfortunately, none of the houses we're looking at have everything we need. Boo! But they're getting close. The house we looked at a few weeks ago and *kind of* liked has a sale pending on it, now. I knew it wouldn't last. It's a good house in the best neighborhood in the world. Ok, maybe not the world, but it's perfect for our needs. I keep hoping I'll see another house in that neighborhood pop up for sale. We're starting to lean toward moving to a bigger apartment for another year, but low interest rates now keep us circling back to buying a home with no money in our pockets at the moment.
We're tossing around the idea of buying into an organic food coop thing. We pay xx dollars, and they deliver fresh vegatables for 30 weeks of the year. It'll hopefully force us to eat a few more veggies than we currently do, and it's all organic. It's not taking long for us to turn the corner into full-on west coast hippies.
Even though we're totally broke - like, poorer than I've been in a long, long time, we got pre-approved for a home loan last night. I really don't understand why a bank would offer to give us money right now, but I'll take it! We'll be looking at 2 or 3 houses this weekend. Yay! Unfortunately, none of the houses we're looking at have everything we need. Boo! But they're getting close. The house we looked at a few weeks ago and *kind of* liked has a sale pending on it, now. I knew it wouldn't last. It's a good house in the best neighborhood in the world. Ok, maybe not the world, but it's perfect for our needs. I keep hoping I'll see another house in that neighborhood pop up for sale. We're starting to lean toward moving to a bigger apartment for another year, but low interest rates now keep us circling back to buying a home with no money in our pockets at the moment.
We're tossing around the idea of buying into an organic food coop thing. We pay xx dollars, and they deliver fresh vegatables for 30 weeks of the year. It'll hopefully force us to eat a few more veggies than we currently do, and it's all organic. It's not taking long for us to turn the corner into full-on west coast hippies.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
It's a mystery.
Scooter called yesterday super early - like 6:20 her time, and she sounded really depressed. Such a hard conversation. She did perk up a little towards the end. She said that she was going to go to bed super early (between 7 and 7:30 her time), so I told her to call me back before bed. I tell her that a lot, but she rarely does it. I called her back a couple of times between 7 and 7:30 her time, and finally got a hold of her as Bubba and I were going to the store. She sounded much better. She just had a rough evening earlier. It was good to talk to her, but as always, kind of sad. I always tell her about what we did that day or what we were doing when she called, and it usually elicits some wistful response. For example, last night, Bubba got excited when we passed by some mylar balloons. She asked me to describe them. I did, and when I got to the colors on the butterfly's wings, she exclaimed, 'well you know that's my favorite color, mom!' It breaks my heart to picture her sitting in her room, imagining being in a store with me, especially when I know she hates running errands.
We picked up some "2 bite cupcakes" for Ben's birthday. Delicious.
This morning, I got an email from the Epic exam proctor at work. My certification mug has arrived! The only weird thing is that I got my second certification in November. Maybe they wait to create each individual mug until after the certification is done. And it takes a few months to fire up the kiln. My coworkers will be relieved when I start using it. I've been using a WebMD mug, which has caused some confusion. My husband works, in some fashion, for WebMD, but he's a remote employee based out of Omaha, reporting to New York. There's a WebMD office in Portland, though, so everyone just assumes that he knows so-and-so. He doesn't. I don't want that conversation starter, anymore. I'll stick with "yeah...I'm certified, now. See. I have the mug." and be done with it.
When I got here, I thought the certification mug was a joke. I figured everyone just purchased a mug from the Epic shop when they went there for training. Because you can buy the same one for about $8.00. It would save my employer about $9,992.00 per certified employee to go that route. Maybe I should bring up my suggestion in a cost-savings meeting sometime...
We picked up some "2 bite cupcakes" for Ben's birthday. Delicious.
This morning, I got an email from the Epic exam proctor at work. My certification mug has arrived! The only weird thing is that I got my second certification in November. Maybe they wait to create each individual mug until after the certification is done. And it takes a few months to fire up the kiln. My coworkers will be relieved when I start using it. I've been using a WebMD mug, which has caused some confusion. My husband works, in some fashion, for WebMD, but he's a remote employee based out of Omaha, reporting to New York. There's a WebMD office in Portland, though, so everyone just assumes that he knows so-and-so. He doesn't. I don't want that conversation starter, anymore. I'll stick with "yeah...I'm certified, now. See. I have the mug." and be done with it.
When I got here, I thought the certification mug was a joke. I figured everyone just purchased a mug from the Epic shop when they went there for training. Because you can buy the same one for about $8.00. It would save my employer about $9,992.00 per certified employee to go that route. Maybe I should bring up my suggestion in a cost-savings meeting sometime...
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Come on, man!
I just updated a few friends on the status of what's going down in Omaha, and it has made me feel completely despaired, angry, and frustrated. So instead of re-hashing that nonsense anymore, I'll focus on the best thing of the week. Today is my husband's birthday.
I'm so excited and happy about it. He thinks it's because he's older than me, now, and I somehow derive great pleasure from that prospect, but in reality, it's much more complicated than that. When we met, we were just getting out of our 20s. He mentioned to me that he'd be OK in his 30s, but he thought that his 40s would be his best years. Well...we're still stuck in the 30s, but so far, I think he's pretty great, and each year that goes by, I'm reminded of that statement he made in passing. I see in him anticipation for the future, but also a lot of terrific memories of the past. I can't wait to wake up one morning and say, "happy birthday" to my 80 year old husband because I know that by then, we'll have made more memories than we'll be able to remember.
In honor of Ben's birthday, I worked extra super hard at spin class. Ben's a biker. I am not so much. I've been taking spin classes (trying for M-W-F, but generally only hitting twice a week) in the mornings for a while now to force myself into becoming a better biker. Some mornings, I'm certain it's not working. Today, though, I was sure Ben would be proud. I don't have a lot (or anything, really) planned for his big day. I'm not even sure what his plans are. But I know that thinking about his birthday will put a smile on my face today. Because that means I've been blessed to know this wonderful man for another year, and it's the start of something more exciting in the next.
I'm so excited and happy about it. He thinks it's because he's older than me, now, and I somehow derive great pleasure from that prospect, but in reality, it's much more complicated than that. When we met, we were just getting out of our 20s. He mentioned to me that he'd be OK in his 30s, but he thought that his 40s would be his best years. Well...we're still stuck in the 30s, but so far, I think he's pretty great, and each year that goes by, I'm reminded of that statement he made in passing. I see in him anticipation for the future, but also a lot of terrific memories of the past. I can't wait to wake up one morning and say, "happy birthday" to my 80 year old husband because I know that by then, we'll have made more memories than we'll be able to remember.
In honor of Ben's birthday, I worked extra super hard at spin class. Ben's a biker. I am not so much. I've been taking spin classes (trying for M-W-F, but generally only hitting twice a week) in the mornings for a while now to force myself into becoming a better biker. Some mornings, I'm certain it's not working. Today, though, I was sure Ben would be proud. I don't have a lot (or anything, really) planned for his big day. I'm not even sure what his plans are. But I know that thinking about his birthday will put a smile on my face today. Because that means I've been blessed to know this wonderful man for another year, and it's the start of something more exciting in the next.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Hanging Tough
I've decided to make today an "inspirational" quote day. It's that kind of day for me. I'm in need of some inspiration - or more, perhaps, some encouragement and confirmation that I am doing the right thing. So...today's quotes are all about battles and/or patience. I'm in dire need of some patience, and I need some perspective on the battle at hand.
We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.
--Helen Keller
(Then again, we'd never NEED to learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world...)
You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
--Margaret Thatcher
There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that Happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails.
--Richard Rybolt
Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory.
--Sun Tzu
(Hopefully, I've been a good strategist. It seems like someone --not me-- is currently looking for their victory.)
Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.
--John Quincy Adams
(the problem with all this patience talk is that in order to see its effects, time has to pass. So far, the seasons have changed a few times, and the same difficulties and obstacles are still there.)
I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Margaret Thatcher
(I know. I totally over-loaded this thing with Margaret Thatcher today. But it turns out, she's fairly wise when it comes to my life today.)
And there you have it. Now's the time for patience. I guess it's been a time for patience for months. Now may be the time for renewed patience. And for the belief that we can do this. We did prepare. We prepared for 4 months. We are still preparing. And it might not be this week, and we may have to do this again in the future. But we can be patient, and we will persevere.
We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.
--Helen Keller
(Then again, we'd never NEED to learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world...)
You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
--Margaret Thatcher
There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that Happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self destruct. It never fails.
--Richard Rybolt
Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory.
--Sun Tzu
(Hopefully, I've been a good strategist. It seems like someone --not me-- is currently looking for their victory.)
Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.
--John Quincy Adams
(the problem with all this patience talk is that in order to see its effects, time has to pass. So far, the seasons have changed a few times, and the same difficulties and obstacles are still there.)
I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Margaret Thatcher
(I know. I totally over-loaded this thing with Margaret Thatcher today. But it turns out, she's fairly wise when it comes to my life today.)
And there you have it. Now's the time for patience. I guess it's been a time for patience for months. Now may be the time for renewed patience. And for the belief that we can do this. We did prepare. We prepared for 4 months. We are still preparing. And it might not be this week, and we may have to do this again in the future. But we can be patient, and we will persevere.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Well, there's bad news and worse news...
Telephonic hearing was this afternoon. My lawyer showed up in person. The other lawyer was (amazingly) present via telephone today. Except, she wasn't exactly prepared...so...there'll be another hearing on Friday. For real. No joke.
There's other *awesome* news, but I'll save it for my real journal.
Needless to say, while I understand the court "feels badly" about separating a child from one parent in order to let her live with another and will therefore bend over backwards (and force one parent to bend over as well) for the losing party, it seems like the court had no problem going the other way in the temporary custody order. I guess I need to keep it in perspective, which is hard to do from the trenches.
But I'll keep going.
There's other *awesome* news, but I'll save it for my real journal.
Needless to say, while I understand the court "feels badly" about separating a child from one parent in order to let her live with another and will therefore bend over backwards (and force one parent to bend over as well) for the losing party, it seems like the court had no problem going the other way in the temporary custody order. I guess I need to keep it in perspective, which is hard to do from the trenches.
But I'll keep going.
1 down, ?? to go...
It's been a week since I took Scooter back to her dad's. She now has a cough (spring allergy season), and had to use her inhaler at soccer on Friday. Yay for Omaha allergies. Boo for not being able to just stay in Portland to avoid that nonsense. I have it on good authority that her dad does not have a nebulizer at his house (even though one was prescribed...it seems when they realized the cost, they just left it at Walgreens rather than get it). Hopefully, Scooter can survive the next few weeks without hospitalization until she can come out here. Ridiculous.
This weekend was pretty fun. Saturday we drove around Portland. Ben took photos while Bubba and I played and sang songs. It was sunny, but colder than it has been. We stopped for lunch at a food cart. There aren't as many open on the weekends, but we got brats from a very authentic-sounding brat cart. The proprietor had a German accent and he played a cassette-deck with oompah music while he cooked. Cheery!
After that, we had lots of errands to run, which we did with glee. I got my library card, and I also got a membership to REI. We've always used Ben's, but they were having a deal on that kind of stuff, so I signed up, too. My wallet is beginning to look like Costanza's. Not really, but it seems like it to me.
We skyped with Ben's parents and Scooter. She seemed to have some selective hearing on that skype, but it was really nice to see her. Scooter had a good time making Easter cookies and playing games. We ended up taking LATE naps - like 5pm. Bubba and I fell asleep in Scooter's bed, and when I woke up after 10pm, we decided maybe we should just go to bed. Bubba slept until 6:30 the next morning.
Sunday was another lazy day, work out-wise. I didn't go to the gym. No swimming this week. We rode the train downtown to Ben's movie theatre, and the Bubba and I walked around a little before taking the train back. Bubba had a normal nap on Sunday, and we kind of spent the day around the apartment before going to bed early.
I finished Death in the Afternoon last week, so I checked out a David Sedaris book from the library on Saturday. His books are good for the train ride because they're funny, and the chapters are short. I can finish one (or two) on the ride and have a good stopping place when I get to my stop. The problem with reading good writers is that it makes me realize how mundane my writing is. Again...I'll try to spruce this stuff up a bit.
Today is another hearing to clarify stuff in the judge's order. It was supposed to kick off at 4pm central time. I haven't heard from my lawyer, yet, which means that it's actually happening right now. Hopefully, something will go our way. My stomach is in knots. I'm ready for this to be done.
This weekend was pretty fun. Saturday we drove around Portland. Ben took photos while Bubba and I played and sang songs. It was sunny, but colder than it has been. We stopped for lunch at a food cart. There aren't as many open on the weekends, but we got brats from a very authentic-sounding brat cart. The proprietor had a German accent and he played a cassette-deck with oompah music while he cooked. Cheery!
After that, we had lots of errands to run, which we did with glee. I got my library card, and I also got a membership to REI. We've always used Ben's, but they were having a deal on that kind of stuff, so I signed up, too. My wallet is beginning to look like Costanza's. Not really, but it seems like it to me.
We skyped with Ben's parents and Scooter. She seemed to have some selective hearing on that skype, but it was really nice to see her. Scooter had a good time making Easter cookies and playing games. We ended up taking LATE naps - like 5pm. Bubba and I fell asleep in Scooter's bed, and when I woke up after 10pm, we decided maybe we should just go to bed. Bubba slept until 6:30 the next morning.
Sunday was another lazy day, work out-wise. I didn't go to the gym. No swimming this week. We rode the train downtown to Ben's movie theatre, and the Bubba and I walked around a little before taking the train back. Bubba had a normal nap on Sunday, and we kind of spent the day around the apartment before going to bed early.
I finished Death in the Afternoon last week, so I checked out a David Sedaris book from the library on Saturday. His books are good for the train ride because they're funny, and the chapters are short. I can finish one (or two) on the ride and have a good stopping place when I get to my stop. The problem with reading good writers is that it makes me realize how mundane my writing is. Again...I'll try to spruce this stuff up a bit.
Today is another hearing to clarify stuff in the judge's order. It was supposed to kick off at 4pm central time. I haven't heard from my lawyer, yet, which means that it's actually happening right now. Hopefully, something will go our way. My stomach is in knots. I'm ready for this to be done.
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