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No post today (well...yesterday for most of the US). Bad news. Blah blah blah.

I'm now slightly drunk (buzzing hard?) on the 3 beers I've had in the past few hours since Bubba went to bed. It's a really good brew from a local micro brew (buy local!). Coffee infused porter, which tastes like a stout. I like my beers dark. I think my migraine might finally be going away. Thanks, caffeine!

Today felt much like December 13th...the first day of the trial, when I was on the stand for 6 hours and we didn't finish. On that day, it became clear that I'd have to wait 2 more months until the next trial date. The only difference (well, I guess there's two) was that 1. at that time, my future was still up in the air, and 2. I had to wait for 2 months instead of 3 weeks. Today, I found out I have to wait 3 more weeks to hold my baby girl in my arms again. Ugh. On a good note, though, I can keep holding her for the next 12 years, as long as I wait until May 21st.

I'm going to have to withdraw my invitation to my sister in law for this weekend. There will be no "welcome home" party on Sunday. But I guess, in the "big picture," I'm OK with that. Because there WILL be a "welcome home" party on the 21st, and that time, it'll be for real.

I didn't get to talk to Scooter tonight. She never answered her phone, and my calls to her temporary caretakers were unanswered. That hurt. But it wasn't entirely unexpected. They're not the type of people who care about Scooter and her need to talk to her mom. Fortunately for them, I understand the importance of maintaining and encouraging their relationship. I only wish the same "courtesy" were shown to me.

I did, however, get to hug my boy, and we took comfort in each other. He misses his dad, now. So do I. We will both be excited when he comes home. I can't put into words how wonderful Ben is. He has supported me in ways that were probably unfathomable to him or I a few years ago. He has seen me spend our life savings in the past 9 months, jumped through innumerable hoops set up by the ex, and always offered me the support and words that I needed to get through this. How I have been so lucky, I don't know. Maybe it's all the pennies I've found in the past 9 months.

Today was a bad day. Tomorrow is a new one, and it'll be what I make of it. I can choose to let today bring me down, or I can look forward to the next day. I hope I make the right choice. I hope we all do.