It's beautiful outside. Not a cloud in the sky, birds singing, the whole nine yards. It's like a Disney movie out there. I couldn't help myself, so I took at walk at lunch. I'm wearing a 3/4 sleeved shirt, but I went without a jacket - it's at least 51 degrees out there. In JANUARY.
As I walked happily around in the warmth and sunshine, I noticed my fellow walkers were all wearing coats and scarves. Apparently, 50s is still cold for Portlanders. I'm not really looking forward to going back to Omaha weather in February.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I did it again!
And I'm going to bore you to death again (sorry about that). I finally figured out how to take LastName, FirstName MiddleNmame and turn it into 3 different columns: LastName FirstName MiddleName. I know it looks exactly the same as what I did 2 posts ago, but that one did not have a space after the comma, and this one does. No big thing, except it is. And I'm going to share the code. Because it's probably even better than the last one.
SELECT CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)
THEN TABLE.FIELD --if there's no comma, it's a last name
WHEN LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD)+1),LEN(TABLE.FIELD))) > LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+1),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))
THEN SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,1,CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)-1)
ELSE SUBSTRING (TABLE.FIELD,1,CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)-1)
END AS LAST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)
THEN ' ' --IF THERE'S NO COMMA, IT'S A LAST NAME
WHEN LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))-(LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX
(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))) > 0
THEN SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2),(LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+1),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))-(LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))),LEN(TABLE.FIELD))))))
ELSE SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2),(LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))
END AS FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)
THEN ' ' --IF THERE'S NO COMMA, IT'S A LAST NAME
WHEN (CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))) > 0
THEN SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))),LEN(TABLE.FIELD))
ELSE ' '
END AS MIDDLE_NAME
FROM TABLE
SELECT CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)
THEN TABLE.FIELD --if there's no comma, it's a last name
WHEN LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD)+1),LEN(TABLE.FIELD))) > LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+1),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))
THEN SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,1,CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)-1)
ELSE SUBSTRING (TABLE.FIELD,1,CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)-1)
END AS LAST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)
THEN ' ' --IF THERE'S NO COMMA, IT'S A LAST NAME
WHEN LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))-(LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX
(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))) > 0
THEN SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2),(LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+1),LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))-(LEN(SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))),LEN(TABLE.FIELD))))))
ELSE SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2),(LEN(TABLE.FIELD)))
END AS FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)
THEN ' ' --IF THERE'S NO COMMA, IT'S A LAST NAME
WHEN (CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))) > 0
THEN SUBSTRING(TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(' ',TABLE.FIELD,(CHARINDEX(',',TABLE.FIELD)+2))),LEN(TABLE.FIELD))
ELSE ' '
END AS MIDDLE_NAME
FROM TABLE
chop chop
I need a haircut. There was a time in my life when I would get my hair trimmed every 6 weeks. I'd want to do it after 4, but I'd force myself to wait it out 2 more weeks. Now? It's been a while. Like....12 weeks or more. Back during the "every 6 weeks" time of my life, I had short hair. I had to keep it in check, lest I begin to look like Justin Beiber. Back then, people didn't purposely want to look like that. It was also before the recession. And by "the recession," I mean Bubba.
Having a child is expensive. Having two in daycare is like paying for a new car every six months. Coincidentally (or not), I started growing my hair out. That pushed the trims out to once every 8 weeks. Even then, it was hard to justify the expense - both time and money. Before, I was working around my schedule and Scooter's schedule to make hair appointments. It suddenly became my schedule, Scooter's schedule and Ben's schedule (if Ben wasn't available, who would watch Bubba?!).
Plus, no matter the genius of my hair dresser (and she was awesome!), I've found that no amount of "wash and go!" styles can make a new mother look good. At least not for a year or so. There's just no "me" time involved in new-motherhood, and I was one of the lucky new moms who lost all her hair - in clumps. So there you are, spending hard-earned money on a hair style that won't really make you feel human. But it's really as close as I could get, so I kept at it. After we went down to one child in daycare again, the $ expense was a little easier to justify (for me, at least).
And then something else happened to derail my regular hair appointmets. I moved. It's hard finding a hair person you can trust. It's even harder when your hair is like mine: Asian-ish (so...thick strands) but frizzy with some curls (nape of my neck and around my hairline plus random waves in spots throughout) and all around unruly - not really "asian" enough to go to someone who knows what they're doing with Asian hair, but not "white" enough to stick to the strictly caucasian specialists. It usually takes a professional a few haircuts to really get a hang of what's going on up there. Erin (my Omaha hair dresser) was fantastic. She "got" it after the first cut. How do you go from that to the unknown world of Oregon hair dressers?
I thought when I first moved here that I'd find lots of great places. Bigger city, west coast chic, etc. But really, it's overwhelming. I don't want to go to the most expensive place (see my tirad above about expenses), but in my adult life, I've never had a good experience at one of those cost cutter type places. So I'm shopping around. Slowly. As in...I'm not really getting my hair trimmed, anymore. Ben and I joke that I have quickly become a granola crunching, plaid wearing "Portlander," so I guess it would follow that I'd quit cutting my hair (along with shaving my legs or underarms) and really embrace this mess I'm in.
Having a child is expensive. Having two in daycare is like paying for a new car every six months. Coincidentally (or not), I started growing my hair out. That pushed the trims out to once every 8 weeks. Even then, it was hard to justify the expense - both time and money. Before, I was working around my schedule and Scooter's schedule to make hair appointments. It suddenly became my schedule, Scooter's schedule and Ben's schedule (if Ben wasn't available, who would watch Bubba?!).
Plus, no matter the genius of my hair dresser (and she was awesome!), I've found that no amount of "wash and go!" styles can make a new mother look good. At least not for a year or so. There's just no "me" time involved in new-motherhood, and I was one of the lucky new moms who lost all her hair - in clumps. So there you are, spending hard-earned money on a hair style that won't really make you feel human. But it's really as close as I could get, so I kept at it. After we went down to one child in daycare again, the $ expense was a little easier to justify (for me, at least).
And then something else happened to derail my regular hair appointmets. I moved. It's hard finding a hair person you can trust. It's even harder when your hair is like mine: Asian-ish (so...thick strands) but frizzy with some curls (nape of my neck and around my hairline plus random waves in spots throughout) and all around unruly - not really "asian" enough to go to someone who knows what they're doing with Asian hair, but not "white" enough to stick to the strictly caucasian specialists. It usually takes a professional a few haircuts to really get a hang of what's going on up there. Erin (my Omaha hair dresser) was fantastic. She "got" it after the first cut. How do you go from that to the unknown world of Oregon hair dressers?
I thought when I first moved here that I'd find lots of great places. Bigger city, west coast chic, etc. But really, it's overwhelming. I don't want to go to the most expensive place (see my tirad above about expenses), but in my adult life, I've never had a good experience at one of those cost cutter type places. So I'm shopping around. Slowly. As in...I'm not really getting my hair trimmed, anymore. Ben and I joke that I have quickly become a granola crunching, plaid wearing "Portlander," so I guess it would follow that I'd quit cutting my hair (along with shaving my legs or underarms) and really embrace this mess I'm in.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Blueberries
Ben bought a giant tub of blueberries last week. They were on sale, and they are delicious. We're not quite done with them, but we're getting there. Blueberries are Bubba and my favorite berry. In fact, he asked for them by name today. On the surface, that's no big deal. He asks for things all the time, and he knows all the words for foods. But after he asked for "blueberries. peace," Ben wondered aloud if it was his first three syllable word. And that is impressive! Of course, as I type this, I realize that it wasn't. He said, "banana" quite clearly as his 3rd or 4th word well over a year ago. It pretty much went: da-da, ee-yee (his sister's name), banana and THEN ma-ma. Got to have your priorities, and he used to LOOOOVE bananas.
Friday, January 21, 2011
bus!
Bubba loves buses. It sounds like "buthsssss" (emphasis on the 's') when he talks about them. And he talks about them everyday. "Mama choo-choo. Daddy choo-choo. ee-yee buthssssss. ee-oh buthssss." And then he talks about the bus at school, the bus he saw on the street, etc. You get the picture. Today, I rode a buthsssss to work. I took my usual train, but it was raining pretty hard, and I had left the umbrella at home (I didn't want to carry it on the plane, and I thought Ben and Bubba could use it this weekend). I also had my laptop in my backpack (which does do a good job of keeping water out in general, but it's not waterproof or anything). So I got off my train at my normal stop, and ran a block to catch the bus. He was already there when I got off the train, but he saw me running. I felt good to have made it. The guy behind me wasn't so lucky. The driver took off just as he was knocking on the door.
I think all of the commute operators were crabby today. The train operator got on the intercom at Sunset (which is the busiest stop on my route), after we had been there for less than a minute and said, "Ladies and gentlemen: your commute is being delayed because someone is blocking the door." It was pretty abrupt and I found it kind of rude, but it got the job done. As soon as he made the announcement, the doors closed and off we went. I had been warned by coworkers when I first moved here that by January or February, people get really grouchy around Portland. Too much rain is the theory, but it's probably not enough sun. Which might sound like the same thing, but it's not.
What I found from my train-bus commute into work is that It doesn't really cut any time out of my commute. Walking 14 or 15 blocks takes me about the same time as it does for a bus to drive it while stopping every few blocks. I also discovered that there's a lot of walking involved in riding a bus. Like...6 blocks of walking. An alternate route that would take more time but require less walking is taking the train another stop or two further than normal and catching the trolley which stops right in front of the parking lot of my building. I just don't think that's really necessary.
Overall, I like the walk into work. This week, the birds are back, and they sing to me on my way in. If I wasn't walking through a downtown residential area wearing rainboots, I'd almost feel like a Disney princess in the mornings. Also, and this is key. Walking to work affords me the opportunity to cash in on Portland's generosity. I found a nickel yesterday. So far this week, that's 10 cents. If you add in Ben's "earnings," we're up to $2.43 found on the streets in Oregon (except for 1 penny in Omaha's airport and 2 pennies in Seattle, WA). Not only does taking the train and walking save me at least $80 a month in gas, but it pays me, too!
I think all of the commute operators were crabby today. The train operator got on the intercom at Sunset (which is the busiest stop on my route), after we had been there for less than a minute and said, "Ladies and gentlemen: your commute is being delayed because someone is blocking the door." It was pretty abrupt and I found it kind of rude, but it got the job done. As soon as he made the announcement, the doors closed and off we went. I had been warned by coworkers when I first moved here that by January or February, people get really grouchy around Portland. Too much rain is the theory, but it's probably not enough sun. Which might sound like the same thing, but it's not.
What I found from my train-bus commute into work is that It doesn't really cut any time out of my commute. Walking 14 or 15 blocks takes me about the same time as it does for a bus to drive it while stopping every few blocks. I also discovered that there's a lot of walking involved in riding a bus. Like...6 blocks of walking. An alternate route that would take more time but require less walking is taking the train another stop or two further than normal and catching the trolley which stops right in front of the parking lot of my building. I just don't think that's really necessary.
Overall, I like the walk into work. This week, the birds are back, and they sing to me on my way in. If I wasn't walking through a downtown residential area wearing rainboots, I'd almost feel like a Disney princess in the mornings. Also, and this is key. Walking to work affords me the opportunity to cash in on Portland's generosity. I found a nickel yesterday. So far this week, that's 10 cents. If you add in Ben's "earnings," we're up to $2.43 found on the streets in Oregon (except for 1 penny in Omaha's airport and 2 pennies in Seattle, WA). Not only does taking the train and walking save me at least $80 a month in gas, but it pays me, too!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
If I haven't already, I'm about to bore your socks off.
CAUTION: Work post. Don't worry. I won't regale you with stories about the moldy food in the break room (although I found some on Monday), nor will I whine about my coworkers (mostly because so far, they're all pretty cool and WAAAY more qualified than I). What I'm about to do is much worse than that. I'm going to tell you about what I did today. For seven hours. Hopefully, it won't take you seven hours to read through this. If so, I apologize (and suggest that you get a tutor).
What I was trying to do is turn "Lastname,Firstname Middlename" into "Lastname" "Firstname" "Middlename." I know. It's not very exciting at all. But I was trying to do it anyway, and my google searches were yielding little by way of instruction. What I did find was this site which gave me this code:
The problem with that code is that it puts everything into fakey jake areas and calls on them later, blah blah blah long story short, I'm too stupid to figure out how to take that code and put it into my own select statement and get other fields that I want. So....it only took me seven hours, but I did it. Here it is. So pretty. So nice...
/*WHEN NAMES ARE FORMATTED: "LAST,FIRST MIDDLE" (NO SPACE BEFORE OR AFTER THE COMMA)
OR AS COMPANY NAMES, IE: "21ST CENTURY INSURANCE" THIS CODE WILL RETURN 3 COLUMNS
"FIRST_NAME" "MIDDLE_NAME" "LAST_NAME" WITH FIELDS POPULATED CORRECTLY. IN THE INSTANCE
WHERE THE NAME IS A COMPANY NAME (AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO COMMAS IN THE NAME) IT WILL RETURN
THE COMPANY NAME IN THE "LAST_NAME" FIELD.
THIS IS WAY CONVOLUTED, SO IF THERE'S A BETTER WAY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. BUT WITH THIS
TECHNIQUE, YOU CAN SLIDE IT INTO YOUR NORMAL SELECT STATEMENT W/O HAVING TO CREATE TEMP TABLES, ETC.
OBVIOUSLY, YOU'LL HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR TABLE AND COLUMN NAMES TO FIT WHAT TABLES YOU'RE USING*/SELECT
YOUR_FIELD
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
THEN NULL --no comma? it's the last name WHEN 0 >= (LEN(substring(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))) -
LEN(SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))))*-1
THEN SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,
(CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))
--need to pull in only the first name, not the first name w/ the middle initial at the end
--if there's no space after the first name, sql gets confused as to what is the first name ELSE SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,CHARINDEX (',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1)+1
,(LEN(substring(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))) -
LEN(SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))))*-1
)
END AS FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
THEN NULL --no comma? it's the last name WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)THEN NULL --no spaces? assume it's a last nameWHEN 1 <= CHARINDEX(' ',SUBSTRING( YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,1
,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)-1
))THEN NULL -- there is a space before the comma? assume the space is in the last nameELSE
SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,1 + CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
,LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
)
END AS MIDDLE_NAME
, CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)THEN YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD --if there's no comma, it's a last nameELSE SUBSTRING (YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,1
,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)-1
)END AS LAST_NAME
FROM YOURTABLE
Actually, it's a whole lot of crazy, and I'm sure there's a better way to do this. But in case you're searching for it, here's an easy way to grab portions of text from a field in SQL. Hooray for determination!
What I was trying to do is turn "Lastname,Firstname Middlename" into "Lastname" "Firstname" "Middlename." I know. It's not very exciting at all. But I was trying to do it anyway, and my google searches were yielding little by way of instruction. What I did find was this site which gave me this code:
SELECT
FIRST_NAME.ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
,FIRST_NAME.TITLE
,FIRST_NAME.FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)
THEN NULL --no more spaces? assume rest is the last name
ELSE SUBSTRING(
FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME
,1
,CHARINDEX(' ',FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)-1
)
END AS MIDDLE_NAME
,SUBSTRING(
FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME
,1 + CHARINDEX(' ',FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)
,LEN(FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)
) AS LAST_NAME FROM
(
SELECT
TITLE.TITLE
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)
THEN TITLE.REST_OF_NAME --No space? return the whole thing
ELSE SUBSTRING(
TITLE.REST_OF_NAME
,1
,CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)-1
)
END AS FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)
THEN NULL --no spaces @ all? then 1st name is all we have
ELSE SUBSTRING(
TITLE.REST_OF_NAME
,CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)+1
,LEN(TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)
)
END AS REST_OF_NAME
,TITLE.ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
FROM
(
SELECT
--if the first three characters are in this list,
--then pull it as a "title". otherwise return NULL for title.
CASE WHEN SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,1,3) IN ('MR ','MS ','DR ','MRS')
THEN LTRIM(RTRIM(SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,1,3)))
ELSE NULL
END AS TITLE
--if you change the list, don't forget to change it here, too.
--so much for the DRY prinicple...
,CASE WHEN SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,1,3) IN ('MR ','MS ','DR ','MRS')
THEN LTRIM(RTRIM(SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,4,LEN(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME))))
ELSE LTRIM(RTRIM(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME))
END AS REST_OF_NAME
,TEST_DATA.ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
FROM
(
SELECT
--trim leading & trailing spaces before trying to process
--disallow extra spaces *within* the name
REPLACE(REPLACE(LTRIM(RTRIM(FULL_NAME)),' ',' '),' ',' ') AS FULL_NAME
,FULL_NAME AS ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
FROM
(
--if you use this, then replace the following
--block with your actual table
SELECT 'GEORGE W BUSH' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'SUSAN B ANTHONY' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'ALEXANDER HAMILTON' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'OSAMA BIN LADEN JR' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'MARTIN J VAN BUREN SENIOR III' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'TOMMY' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'BILLY' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT NULL AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' ' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' JOHN JACOB SMITH' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' DR SANJAY GUPTA' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'DR JOHN S HOPKINS' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' MRS SUSAN ADAMS' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' MS AUGUSTA ADA KING ' AS FULL_NAME
) RAW_DATA
) TEST_DATA
) TITLE
) FIRST_NAME
FIRST_NAME.ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
,FIRST_NAME.TITLE
,FIRST_NAME.FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)
THEN NULL --no more spaces? assume rest is the last name
ELSE SUBSTRING(
FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME
,1
,CHARINDEX(' ',FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)-1
)
END AS MIDDLE_NAME
,SUBSTRING(
FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME
,1 + CHARINDEX(' ',FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)
,LEN(FIRST_NAME.REST_OF_NAME)
) AS LAST_NAME FROM
(
SELECT
TITLE.TITLE
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)
THEN TITLE.REST_OF_NAME --No space? return the whole thing
ELSE SUBSTRING(
TITLE.REST_OF_NAME
,1
,CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)-1
)
END AS FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)
THEN NULL --no spaces @ all? then 1st name is all we have
ELSE SUBSTRING(
TITLE.REST_OF_NAME
,CHARINDEX(' ',TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)+1
,LEN(TITLE.REST_OF_NAME)
)
END AS REST_OF_NAME
,TITLE.ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
FROM
(
SELECT
--if the first three characters are in this list,
--then pull it as a "title". otherwise return NULL for title.
CASE WHEN SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,1,3) IN ('MR ','MS ','DR ','MRS')
THEN LTRIM(RTRIM(SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,1,3)))
ELSE NULL
END AS TITLE
--if you change the list, don't forget to change it here, too.
--so much for the DRY prinicple...
,CASE WHEN SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,1,3) IN ('MR ','MS ','DR ','MRS')
THEN LTRIM(RTRIM(SUBSTRING(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME,4,LEN(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME))))
ELSE LTRIM(RTRIM(TEST_DATA.FULL_NAME))
END AS REST_OF_NAME
,TEST_DATA.ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
FROM
(
SELECT
--trim leading & trailing spaces before trying to process
--disallow extra spaces *within* the name
REPLACE(REPLACE(LTRIM(RTRIM(FULL_NAME)),' ',' '),' ',' ') AS FULL_NAME
,FULL_NAME AS ORIGINAL_INPUT_DATA
FROM
(
--if you use this, then replace the following
--block with your actual table
SELECT 'GEORGE W BUSH' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'SUSAN B ANTHONY' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'ALEXANDER HAMILTON' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'OSAMA BIN LADEN JR' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'MARTIN J VAN BUREN SENIOR III' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'TOMMY' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'BILLY' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT NULL AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' ' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' JOHN JACOB SMITH' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' DR SANJAY GUPTA' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT 'DR JOHN S HOPKINS' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' MRS SUSAN ADAMS' AS FULL_NAME
UNION SELECT ' MS AUGUSTA ADA KING ' AS FULL_NAME
) RAW_DATA
) TEST_DATA
) TITLE
) FIRST_NAME
The problem with that code is that it puts everything into fakey jake areas and calls on them later, blah blah blah long story short, I'm too stupid to figure out how to take that code and put it into my own select statement and get other fields that I want. So....it only took me seven hours, but I did it. Here it is. So pretty. So nice...
/*WHEN NAMES ARE FORMATTED: "LAST,FIRST MIDDLE" (NO SPACE BEFORE OR AFTER THE COMMA)
OR AS COMPANY NAMES, IE: "21ST CENTURY INSURANCE" THIS CODE WILL RETURN 3 COLUMNS
"FIRST_NAME" "MIDDLE_NAME" "LAST_NAME" WITH FIELDS POPULATED CORRECTLY. IN THE INSTANCE
WHERE THE NAME IS A COMPANY NAME (AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO COMMAS IN THE NAME) IT WILL RETURN
THE COMPANY NAME IN THE "LAST_NAME" FIELD.
THIS IS WAY CONVOLUTED, SO IF THERE'S A BETTER WAY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. BUT WITH THIS
TECHNIQUE, YOU CAN SLIDE IT INTO YOUR NORMAL SELECT STATEMENT W/O HAVING TO CREATE TEMP TABLES, ETC.
OBVIOUSLY, YOU'LL HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR TABLE AND COLUMN NAMES TO FIT WHAT TABLES YOU'RE USING*/SELECT
YOUR_FIELD
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
THEN NULL --no comma? it's the last name WHEN 0 >= (LEN(substring(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))) -
LEN(SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))))*-1
THEN SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,
(CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))
--need to pull in only the first name, not the first name w/ the middle initial at the end
--if there's no space after the first name, sql gets confused as to what is the first name ELSE SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,CHARINDEX (',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1)+1
,(LEN(substring(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))) -
LEN(SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD,+1),LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD))))*-1
)
END AS FIRST_NAME
,CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
THEN NULL --no comma? it's the last name WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)THEN NULL --no spaces? assume it's a last nameWHEN 1 <= CHARINDEX(' ',SUBSTRING( YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,1
,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)-1
))THEN NULL -- there is a space before the comma? assume the space is in the last nameELSE
SUBSTRING(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,1 + CHARINDEX(' ',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
,LEN(YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)
)
END AS MIDDLE_NAME
, CASE WHEN 0 = CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)THEN YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD --if there's no comma, it's a last nameELSE SUBSTRING (YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD
,1
,CHARINDEX(',',YOURTABLE.YOUR_FIELD)-1
)END AS LAST_NAME
FROM YOURTABLE
Actually, it's a whole lot of crazy, and I'm sure there's a better way to do this. But in case you're searching for it, here's an easy way to grab portions of text from a field in SQL. Hooray for determination!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Where are they now?
I have a guilty pleasure. Actually, I have several. But one that I'm willing to share is the Biggest Loser. I've watched at least parts of every season since it debuted in 2004 with Caroline Rhea as the host. Bob and Jillian were the trainers, even back then. There's now a new host (Alison Sweeney), and there've been several other trainers who have tried their hands at melting pounds off dangerously obese contestants, and I've been along for the ride all the way. I joke that I secretly want to be on the show. I know that in order to do so, I'd have to gain at least 100 pounds, which has thus far deterred me. I'll admit that I got close while pregnant with Bubba, but I have a feeling that they wouldn't let a pregnant contestant on.
When I married Ben, I kind of sucked him into my world of Biggest Loserdom. Often, he'd actually be at the gym while it was on, and he'd only get home in time for the weigh-in and vote-off. But he's coming around to my way of thinking: enjoy a bowl of ice cream and watch Bob and Jillian reduce grown men to tears and/or puking on a treadmill.
One day, a few months after we were married, my daughter happened into the living room while the show was on and stated very matter of factly that one of the contestants looked like someone we know. Ben and I held it together until Scooter had left the room before erupting into explosive laughter. And even though (or maybe because) this contestant was a constant schemer with an almost sociopathic personality, we still delight in the comparison today.
Vicky ended up losing 101 pounds. By the end of the show, she really did look like someone we know...Actually, she looked better.
That was over two years ago. Now...?? I have no idea what the real Vicky looks like. But I can estimate what our Vicky will look like next year:
How can I say such mean things, you ask? Scooter and I skyped last night. She showed me a number of things including "Vicky's" pre-natal vitamins...
When I married Ben, I kind of sucked him into my world of Biggest Loserdom. Often, he'd actually be at the gym while it was on, and he'd only get home in time for the weigh-in and vote-off. But he's coming around to my way of thinking: enjoy a bowl of ice cream and watch Bob and Jillian reduce grown men to tears and/or puking on a treadmill.
One day, a few months after we were married, my daughter happened into the living room while the show was on and stated very matter of factly that one of the contestants looked like someone we know. Ben and I held it together until Scooter had left the room before erupting into explosive laughter. And even though (or maybe because) this contestant was a constant schemer with an almost sociopathic personality, we still delight in the comparison today.
Vicky ended up losing 101 pounds. By the end of the show, she really did look like someone we know...Actually, she looked better.
Only the Poorest will Survive...
Sound like a tag line for a new TV reality show? It's my life right now, and apparently, it's no surprise to at least one person. My daughter has always had a knack for knowing what the future will hold. When she was very small, she twice predicted that the back end of my car would whip out from under us. This fall, it seems, she predicted our current financial situation.
Back in October, when it was still nice enough to ride bikes outside and she had few other toys left in the house, she'd make signs. Some were her asking to go outside. "Outside, please? NOW?!" is one that comes to mind. But she'd also make signs for other sorts of play. One such sign read, "I don't have a home. Put your money in the bucket." Simultaneously hilarious and so sad. Another read, "Only the poorest will survive." Which brings to mind so many questions about what, exactly, was going on in her head when she was making those signs. Is there some deeper psychological statement being made, or was it just silly 7 year old sign making? I remember writing some ridiculous statements at that age. I still write some pretty silly things.
If it was a portent, I have hope. We will suruvive.
Back in October, when it was still nice enough to ride bikes outside and she had few other toys left in the house, she'd make signs. Some were her asking to go outside. "Outside, please? NOW?!" is one that comes to mind. But she'd also make signs for other sorts of play. One such sign read, "I don't have a home. Put your money in the bucket." Simultaneously hilarious and so sad. Another read, "Only the poorest will survive." Which brings to mind so many questions about what, exactly, was going on in her head when she was making those signs. Is there some deeper psychological statement being made, or was it just silly 7 year old sign making? I remember writing some ridiculous statements at that age. I still write some pretty silly things.
If it was a portent, I have hope. We will suruvive.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Day 6? It's hard to tell at this point...
My boy has a bit of a stubborn streak. If he feels like it, he'll forego all things that he loves to make a point: He does not want to eat what we want him to eat. He'll skip cookies, he'll skip his binky, he'll even give up bath and cuddle time. Such was his fate Saturday night. No dinner. Not one bite. But I think we had a break through last night. It might have been a mistake on our part...
Bubba asked for pizza for dinner. It was kind of a catch-all dinner (as we cooked chicken spanish stew and chili and also had some pizza leftover from this weekend), so each person got to choose what we ate. Except after the pizza was warmed up and ready to go, he refused to eat it. There was a pile of cookies on the counter that Ben had baked earlier. Bubba decided he wanted crackers, juice and cookies for dinner. Yeah, sounds great. After pizza. No pizza? No cookies. Crushed, he sat in his seat for a long time. Long enough to almost finish his juice and spill the rest over his pizza. "Soggy pizza, Mom. I can't eat that," he seemed to plead with his eyes. "No pizza? No cookies," was the reply. Poor little man. I sat with him in the kitchen reading my book.
He ended up eating his soggy pizza. What a trooper! His enthusiasm earned him 2 cookies (they were small). After that, he was all sugar rush crazy. He had a bath, which can usually act to calm him down. It had the opposite effect last night. He scurried around the apartment, chatting nonsensically, tossing a ball into the air, playing piano, talking non stop. What happened? Cookies, even an hour and a half before bed, produced unpredictable results. We finally got him into bed, where he tossed, turned, talked and sang until he finally drifted off to sleep.
And you know what? That boy slept all night. Again. It was wonderful.
Bubba asked for pizza for dinner. It was kind of a catch-all dinner (as we cooked chicken spanish stew and chili and also had some pizza leftover from this weekend), so each person got to choose what we ate. Except after the pizza was warmed up and ready to go, he refused to eat it. There was a pile of cookies on the counter that Ben had baked earlier. Bubba decided he wanted crackers, juice and cookies for dinner. Yeah, sounds great. After pizza. No pizza? No cookies. Crushed, he sat in his seat for a long time. Long enough to almost finish his juice and spill the rest over his pizza. "Soggy pizza, Mom. I can't eat that," he seemed to plead with his eyes. "No pizza? No cookies," was the reply. Poor little man. I sat with him in the kitchen reading my book.
He ended up eating his soggy pizza. What a trooper! His enthusiasm earned him 2 cookies (they were small). After that, he was all sugar rush crazy. He had a bath, which can usually act to calm him down. It had the opposite effect last night. He scurried around the apartment, chatting nonsensically, tossing a ball into the air, playing piano, talking non stop. What happened? Cookies, even an hour and a half before bed, produced unpredictable results. We finally got him into bed, where he tossed, turned, talked and sang until he finally drifted off to sleep.
And you know what? That boy slept all night. Again. It was wonderful.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Day 3: I'm tired
Bubba ate the dinner of his life last night. Yum! Ben made cookies while dinner was in the works. Bubba couldn't take his eyes (or hands) off them. But the rule was: 1st eat a good dinner, THEN you may have a cookie (or two...or three...or...). It didn't start out well when Bubba decided that he hates celery. But after eating 4 carrots and a monster amount of spaghetti sauce and tortellini as well as 2 glasses of milk, cookies were had by all. And they were delicious.
He got a little wild after dinner (and he weighed at least 1/2 pound more), and then he went to bed. When Ben and I went to bed, I warned Ben that he might need earplugs. Call it mother's intuition, but really, I heard him flopping around in there. I knew he'd be up. At 2:30, my prediction came true. When I went in there, he was sitting up in his crib. He still had his binky (I know, I know...that'll be gone by the time he's 3, I swear!), but I had to dig around for doggy. Armed with those two things, I hugged him, calmed him, and put him back down. He promptly sat up and resumed crying. I put him back down and rubbed his back and left. He started crying again.
Ben decided to get up with him. I'm not sure what sort of magic Ben does in there, but within 2 minutes, Bubba was happy and Ben was back in bed. I'm not sure how long Ben tossed and turned (he has a really hard time falling back asleep once awake in the night), but I zonked right out. I'm not sure why, then, I'm so tired today.
He got a little wild after dinner (and he weighed at least 1/2 pound more), and then he went to bed. When Ben and I went to bed, I warned Ben that he might need earplugs. Call it mother's intuition, but really, I heard him flopping around in there. I knew he'd be up. At 2:30, my prediction came true. When I went in there, he was sitting up in his crib. He still had his binky (I know, I know...that'll be gone by the time he's 3, I swear!), but I had to dig around for doggy. Armed with those two things, I hugged him, calmed him, and put him back down. He promptly sat up and resumed crying. I put him back down and rubbed his back and left. He started crying again.
Ben decided to get up with him. I'm not sure what sort of magic Ben does in there, but within 2 minutes, Bubba was happy and Ben was back in bed. I'm not sure how long Ben tossed and turned (he has a really hard time falling back asleep once awake in the night), but I zonked right out. I'm not sure why, then, I'm so tired today.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Day 2 of Tough Love
I missed dinner last night. I was too busy feeling abused and ashamed at the gym. I went to a spin class. It was my first or second time at one of these, and it was kind of brutal, which is weird because all of the stuff that makes it hard or easy (resistance and speed) is on your honor. The class was full. Every last bike. Apparently, this happens a lot, and you're required to sign up for said class. It filled up 3 hours before the class started. Unaware, I just walked right in and took the last open bike in the room. 15 minutes into the class, the instructor turned someone away - probably the girl whose bike I was on. Sorry! The instructor was a cutey, and his choice in music was interesting. The class was hard. I think I'll go back on Monday.
Enough about the gym, this post is supposed to be about Bubba and his progress toward being a better human being. So last night's dinner was leftover night. That meant that we all kind of ate whatever, which works out well for Bubba. That's kind of his eating style in general. From what I hear, he 1. did not sit in his booster - Ben went straight for the high chair and has put the booster away, and 2. did a pretty good job with his meal! Hooray! Bubba had 1 or 2 time outs after I got back from the gym, but after some calming and hugging, he went to bed like a pro and slept all night. There wasn't even a 5:20 episode to completely disrupt our sleep. Ben and I commented to each other that we felt down right refreshed.
We're about to take back the night, folks!
Enough about the gym, this post is supposed to be about Bubba and his progress toward being a better human being. So last night's dinner was leftover night. That meant that we all kind of ate whatever, which works out well for Bubba. That's kind of his eating style in general. From what I hear, he 1. did not sit in his booster - Ben went straight for the high chair and has put the booster away, and 2. did a pretty good job with his meal! Hooray! Bubba had 1 or 2 time outs after I got back from the gym, but after some calming and hugging, he went to bed like a pro and slept all night. There wasn't even a 5:20 episode to completely disrupt our sleep. Ben and I commented to each other that we felt down right refreshed.
We're about to take back the night, folks!
Portland giveth and Portland taketh away
I had a dream last night that we lost the case. Bummer. This morning was looking brighter when I dropped Bubba off at daycare, and he not only let go of my hand and wandered off to play, but he didn't even cry when I left. Also, my walk into work this morning was in 53 degree weather. But that's not what this post is about.
I found 2 pennies yesterday. Coupled with the DOLLAR BILL I found the day before, and I've found $2.31 in the 4 months I've been here. So am I up $2.31 overall? No. Yesterday, I lost my tri-met pass for January. Ok, Portland. Depending on how you do the math, that loss is either 20 times what I've found so far or 42. I get a considerable discount on monthly passes, but if I were to buy that pass retail, I'd be paying $89 for it. Luckily, I only use it to ride the max (train), and they don't ever check for tickets or passes. The streetcar does, but I can ride that for free with my work badge. The only thing I have to avoid until Feb is the buses, which might be a problem if the train service continues with their delays. So far this month, trains that go in the direction I'm going have been delayed or out of service twice.
This morning, I would have made my 2nd choice train, but it was out of service. In their haste to get that corrected, my 3rd and 4th choice trains were canceled. I ended up taking my 5th choice train, which has really never been a choice before. It wasn't too bad, I guess. Except for the fact that I got into work much later than normal. The nice part was that I didn't get cold standing around for 12 minutes, waiting for a train to arrive.
I found 2 pennies yesterday. Coupled with the DOLLAR BILL I found the day before, and I've found $2.31 in the 4 months I've been here. So am I up $2.31 overall? No. Yesterday, I lost my tri-met pass for January. Ok, Portland. Depending on how you do the math, that loss is either 20 times what I've found so far or 42. I get a considerable discount on monthly passes, but if I were to buy that pass retail, I'd be paying $89 for it. Luckily, I only use it to ride the max (train), and they don't ever check for tickets or passes. The streetcar does, but I can ride that for free with my work badge. The only thing I have to avoid until Feb is the buses, which might be a problem if the train service continues with their delays. So far this month, trains that go in the direction I'm going have been delayed or out of service twice.
This morning, I would have made my 2nd choice train, but it was out of service. In their haste to get that corrected, my 3rd and 4th choice trains were canceled. I ended up taking my 5th choice train, which has really never been a choice before. It wasn't too bad, I guess. Except for the fact that I got into work much later than normal. The nice part was that I didn't get cold standing around for 12 minutes, waiting for a train to arrive.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Day 1 of tough love
Bubba had a bite of chicken for dinner last night. One bite of chicken. That's all he could handle before deciding that he really didn't want to sit down in a restaurant. So...Ben and I took turns watching him in the car. He cried and cried, but I think he got the point. We came home, calmed down, got ready for bed, brushed teeth, and off to his crib he went. No snacks, no 2nd dinner. Nothing. Because of that, he went to bed pretty early. We were bracing ourselves for a wake-up every hour or two all night long. It didn't happen. Miraculously, he slept until 5:20 - about 20 minutes before my alarm usually goes off. He went back to sleep, and I had to wake him up at 6, like normal.
He tried to take control back when I let him sit in his booster seat at the table. After giving him the choice of sitting nicely and eating or sitting in his high chair - and several warnings, I had to forcebly sit him in his high chair. But you know what? He ended up eating a pretty good breakfast.
In conclusion, other than a ruined dinner out (but let's face it, with kids, that's bound to happen at least every other time you try), things are going smoothly. Then again, it's just day 1. We have at least 20 more of these before I will declare victory.
I just need to remember that I have to be "mean" in order to give my baby boy my greatest gift as a parent: raising him to be a productive and positive force in our society. It's because I love him so much that I've become the enforcer in his life.
He tried to take control back when I let him sit in his booster seat at the table. After giving him the choice of sitting nicely and eating or sitting in his high chair - and several warnings, I had to forcebly sit him in his high chair. But you know what? He ended up eating a pretty good breakfast.
In conclusion, other than a ruined dinner out (but let's face it, with kids, that's bound to happen at least every other time you try), things are going smoothly. Then again, it's just day 1. We have at least 20 more of these before I will declare victory.
I just need to remember that I have to be "mean" in order to give my baby boy my greatest gift as a parent: raising him to be a productive and positive force in our society. It's because I love him so much that I've become the enforcer in his life.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Insecurities abound
Have I told you lately that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing at work? As in, I have never felt like I knew what I was doing. Even when I worked at OFFWIRE, and I was supposed to be the systems expert, I pretty much didn't know what I was doing. I am pretty good at playing with computer programs, to the point of almost ruining everything, and then magically stopping and going back the way I came. But other than that, if you work with me, you pretty much don't want me anywhere near whatever it is you're doing.
People (like my boss or coworkers) tend to give me the benefit of the doubt and assume that I have the foggiest idea of what they're talking about at any given time. I don't.
For example, I've been working on one report for about a week. That's not bad, really. Lately, it's been taking me several weeks to get one done, but mostly because I'm working on 8 at a time, and I have to wait for the user of the info to get back to me about questions I've had, etc. But this one has been different. It's high priority, and instead of a regular analyst, my boss has been proofing the report, and acting as an intermediary between me and the actual users: clinical managers. I was pretty proud of my work. It's out of tables that I have had no training on, using 3 sub-reports, etc. Well...I had pride in it until I left town on Friday, and my boss called one of my cohorts in to take a look at a few problems with it.
Lucky for me, my coworker didn't solve any of the issues, and I was able to fix them all yesterday and today. This afternoon, he came over to tell me that he's keeping the finished product in a "good reports" file where he can reference them if he runs into an issue on something that he's workign on. Instead of feeling good about this, I got worried that maybe once he learns a little more about Crystal, he'll realize that I just fudge my way around that program without actually fixing problems. Oops.
People (like my boss or coworkers) tend to give me the benefit of the doubt and assume that I have the foggiest idea of what they're talking about at any given time. I don't.
For example, I've been working on one report for about a week. That's not bad, really. Lately, it's been taking me several weeks to get one done, but mostly because I'm working on 8 at a time, and I have to wait for the user of the info to get back to me about questions I've had, etc. But this one has been different. It's high priority, and instead of a regular analyst, my boss has been proofing the report, and acting as an intermediary between me and the actual users: clinical managers. I was pretty proud of my work. It's out of tables that I have had no training on, using 3 sub-reports, etc. Well...I had pride in it until I left town on Friday, and my boss called one of my cohorts in to take a look at a few problems with it.
Lucky for me, my coworker didn't solve any of the issues, and I was able to fix them all yesterday and today. This afternoon, he came over to tell me that he's keeping the finished product in a "good reports" file where he can reference them if he runs into an issue on something that he's workign on. Instead of feeling good about this, I got worried that maybe once he learns a little more about Crystal, he'll realize that I just fudge my way around that program without actually fixing problems. Oops.
Mean moms, unite!
I used to be a mean mom. No candy or sweets. Always eat a good dinner. Always go to bed and stay in bed all night. No TV. Adults were always addressed by Mr or Miss. Pleases and thank yous were mandatory. I had no problem putting my child in time out at the grocery store. I had no problem taking my kid to the bathroom of a restaurant for a time out until we could settle down and eat a decent meal. Basically, I kept a figurative short leash on my child and there were always consequences. Always.
I've completely lost my edge. I've let my husband convince me that I'm too mean. That perhaps I don't like my own children because of the way I have tried to raise them. That I need to make exceptions for the little one because life has been scary and strange for the family during the past few months. But I think it's time for me to take back my parenting style. For one thing, when my daughter was the same age as my son is now, life was scary and strange. My ex-husband was in the process of moving out of the house. I was battling some mild depression. There was a question as to whether or not I could afford to stay in the house that we were living in because I wasn't making very much in my job. My daughter had to transition to full time daycare.
Now that I'm writing it out, many of the same life events that Bubba is facing were faced by my daughter at close to that same age. Bubba recently went back to full time daycare. Depending on the month lately, Bubba either lived without his mother or without his father. There are some major questions about how we're going to afford to live for the next couple of months. How did I deal with it then? I got out of bed in the morning, worked all day, played with my daughter in the evening, fed her, put her to bed, and did the same thing the next day. She was the reason why I was able to get out of bed in the morning. She was the reason why I made it through a day at work: I knew she needed me to do that and to come home in the evening. My parenting style didn't change. I was as mean as ever. But not because I was angry at her or because I wanted to deprive her of anything. It was just the opposite. It was because I wanted for her what I had growing up. Discipline, a healthy diet, enough rest, etc.
How am I dealing with it now? I still get out of bed in the morning. I still work all day. I still play or read books with Bubba. But the TV is on in the background. I help my husband cook 2 dinners. One for us and one for Bubba. And I get up with Bubba when he wakes up at night. Actually, my husband does much of the heavy lifting in all of those areas. But I know I'm going wrong somewhere. I know it doesn't have to be that way. I have gotten lazy, soft. Ben says that Bubba is more stubborn that Scooter, and that's why we're doing what we're doing. But what if it's just Bubba reacting to our parenting? He thinks he's the one in control, so he's taking it. Well guess what, son? I'm taking it back. It starts today. It's going to be a lot harder than it was with Scooter because it'll be a deviation from what he's experienced for 6+ months, but it's going to happen.
People compliment me all the time on how smart/well behaved/sweet my daughter is. And she is a sweet and clever girl, but she didn't magically get that way. She was raised that way. And I'll be damned if my boy isn't going to be just as sweet and smart and well behaved. Well...maybe just as sweet and smart.
I've completely lost my edge. I've let my husband convince me that I'm too mean. That perhaps I don't like my own children because of the way I have tried to raise them. That I need to make exceptions for the little one because life has been scary and strange for the family during the past few months. But I think it's time for me to take back my parenting style. For one thing, when my daughter was the same age as my son is now, life was scary and strange. My ex-husband was in the process of moving out of the house. I was battling some mild depression. There was a question as to whether or not I could afford to stay in the house that we were living in because I wasn't making very much in my job. My daughter had to transition to full time daycare.
Now that I'm writing it out, many of the same life events that Bubba is facing were faced by my daughter at close to that same age. Bubba recently went back to full time daycare. Depending on the month lately, Bubba either lived without his mother or without his father. There are some major questions about how we're going to afford to live for the next couple of months. How did I deal with it then? I got out of bed in the morning, worked all day, played with my daughter in the evening, fed her, put her to bed, and did the same thing the next day. She was the reason why I was able to get out of bed in the morning. She was the reason why I made it through a day at work: I knew she needed me to do that and to come home in the evening. My parenting style didn't change. I was as mean as ever. But not because I was angry at her or because I wanted to deprive her of anything. It was just the opposite. It was because I wanted for her what I had growing up. Discipline, a healthy diet, enough rest, etc.
How am I dealing with it now? I still get out of bed in the morning. I still work all day. I still play or read books with Bubba. But the TV is on in the background. I help my husband cook 2 dinners. One for us and one for Bubba. And I get up with Bubba when he wakes up at night. Actually, my husband does much of the heavy lifting in all of those areas. But I know I'm going wrong somewhere. I know it doesn't have to be that way. I have gotten lazy, soft. Ben says that Bubba is more stubborn that Scooter, and that's why we're doing what we're doing. But what if it's just Bubba reacting to our parenting? He thinks he's the one in control, so he's taking it. Well guess what, son? I'm taking it back. It starts today. It's going to be a lot harder than it was with Scooter because it'll be a deviation from what he's experienced for 6+ months, but it's going to happen.
People compliment me all the time on how smart/well behaved/sweet my daughter is. And she is a sweet and clever girl, but she didn't magically get that way. She was raised that way. And I'll be damned if my boy isn't going to be just as sweet and smart and well behaved. Well...maybe just as sweet and smart.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Nobody ever said life was easy
I spent another weekend traveling. I would say I spent it in Omaha, but really, I think I spent the most amount of time in airports or planes. The short time I did get to spend in Omaha with Scooter was fantastic. And sad. Fantastic and sad. As awesome as it was to spend time as a family over her Christmas break, it was at least as great to spend it one on one with her this weekend. We went to the zoo (only indoor displays, please!), we walked around the mall, we watched some movies. It was way too short. And it's getting harder. It's getting harder for me at least, to drop her back off at her dad's and go back to the airport. I cry on the way to the airport. I cry at the gate waiting to board. Sometimes I cry while we're in the air. I just want my daughter back. I just want us to be a family again.
She and I have been a family since the day she was born. After Adam moved out, she and I were still family. After Ben and I got married, it was Scooter and I that welcomed him into our family. After Bubba was born, there were 4 in our circle. Through all the changes, the core was still there. But now, as I type this back in Portland, she's not. And everytime I leave her back in Omaha by herself, a little bit of my heart chips off.
Perhaps that's why when I went through security at the Omaha airport yesterday, I didn't look very happy. And it's dangerous to not look happy when you're traveling. I've been reading recently about how TSA agents are trained to detect microfacial expressions. So...if you're looking especially anxious or stressed, they'll screen you harder. And screen me they did. They sent me through the "look at her underpants" scanner. After that, they patted me down, and I must admit that nobody has spent that much time rubbing my behind in a long time. After that, they swabbed my hands for explosives. When I asked what that machine was for, the "highly trained" TSA agent said, "oh. it's explosives." I responded with, "Oh my word!" (thinking...'I can't believe these guys think I have explosives on my hands!' followed by, 'crap! i cleaned the bathroom this morning with comet! i hope they don't think that it's actually some explosive chemical...'). He reassured me by saying, "oh...there's no explosive in the machine. It only DETECTS explosives." I said, "I know."
What followed were 2 plane rides with screaming children in my same row. In my experience, a screaming child is not so bad if they're at least 4 rows away. But if you're seated in "the zone" it's pretty miserable. I guess it wasn't that bad, though. I was pretty miserable myself, and at least the children distracted everyone else from my sobs...
She and I have been a family since the day she was born. After Adam moved out, she and I were still family. After Ben and I got married, it was Scooter and I that welcomed him into our family. After Bubba was born, there were 4 in our circle. Through all the changes, the core was still there. But now, as I type this back in Portland, she's not. And everytime I leave her back in Omaha by herself, a little bit of my heart chips off.
Perhaps that's why when I went through security at the Omaha airport yesterday, I didn't look very happy. And it's dangerous to not look happy when you're traveling. I've been reading recently about how TSA agents are trained to detect microfacial expressions. So...if you're looking especially anxious or stressed, they'll screen you harder. And screen me they did. They sent me through the "look at her underpants" scanner. After that, they patted me down, and I must admit that nobody has spent that much time rubbing my behind in a long time. After that, they swabbed my hands for explosives. When I asked what that machine was for, the "highly trained" TSA agent said, "oh. it's explosives." I responded with, "Oh my word!" (thinking...'I can't believe these guys think I have explosives on my hands!' followed by, 'crap! i cleaned the bathroom this morning with comet! i hope they don't think that it's actually some explosive chemical...'). He reassured me by saying, "oh...there's no explosive in the machine. It only DETECTS explosives." I said, "I know."
What followed were 2 plane rides with screaming children in my same row. In my experience, a screaming child is not so bad if they're at least 4 rows away. But if you're seated in "the zone" it's pretty miserable. I guess it wasn't that bad, though. I was pretty miserable myself, and at least the children distracted everyone else from my sobs...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Brain Drain
My husband's got a cold. Or maybe something more sinister. He started feeling badly right before we left on our weekend trip last Thursday. He was functional and fun on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. By Monday, though, he had taken a turn for the worse. Tuesday was worse than Monday, and Wednesday was even worse. He woke up this morning feeling about the same as yesterday, which is to say he felt pretty badly. With Ben out, my nights have been as busy as my days. He usually does much of the cooking and general pick-up of toys, etc before I even get home. I help with the post-dinner kitchen clean up, and we both get Bubba ready for bed, etc. before a moment of relaxation before we go to bed.
This week, I've been responsible for almost everything. It's amazing how much Ben does when he's feeling up to it. On top of that, I did 5 loads of laundry on Tuesday. That's $12.50. Except I'm a genius, and saved us $0.50 by plugging the dryer rather than start from scratch for loads 4 and 5.
My genius was on Tuesday. By yesterday, I was done. You know how when you were in high school or college, and you had a full day of classes or maybe you had a test and your brain was really tired from all that thinking? And having a tired brain caused you to physically be really tired? I've been experiencing that phenomenon a lot lately. Don't worry, it's not because my job is sucking the life out of me. I think it's because there is much to learn, and it's kind of (really) tiring to learn it all. Being the new person kind of stinks.
Plus, I'm garnering this reputation as being competent, which is a total drag. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being helpful and having work to do. But the fact that in reality, I have no idea what I'm doing coupled with the fact the people are starting to ask me questions for guidance leads to much stress for me. Especially when I look to my left and right and see people much more skilled in both SQL and Crystal Reports. Are they just asking me questions to try to trip me up and expose me as a fraud? Sometimes I wonder...
This week, I've been responsible for almost everything. It's amazing how much Ben does when he's feeling up to it. On top of that, I did 5 loads of laundry on Tuesday. That's $12.50. Except I'm a genius, and saved us $0.50 by plugging the dryer rather than start from scratch for loads 4 and 5.
My genius was on Tuesday. By yesterday, I was done. You know how when you were in high school or college, and you had a full day of classes or maybe you had a test and your brain was really tired from all that thinking? And having a tired brain caused you to physically be really tired? I've been experiencing that phenomenon a lot lately. Don't worry, it's not because my job is sucking the life out of me. I think it's because there is much to learn, and it's kind of (really) tiring to learn it all. Being the new person kind of stinks.
Plus, I'm garnering this reputation as being competent, which is a total drag. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being helpful and having work to do. But the fact that in reality, I have no idea what I'm doing coupled with the fact the people are starting to ask me questions for guidance leads to much stress for me. Especially when I look to my left and right and see people much more skilled in both SQL and Crystal Reports. Are they just asking me questions to try to trip me up and expose me as a fraud? Sometimes I wonder...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
2 steps back
In yet another blow to my psyche, our trial date got pushed out. It's only by a day, but come on, man! Ben and I are lucky that we procrastinated about buying tickets back to Omaha for the trial. We'll have to book them soon, though. Feb 8, folks. Mark your calendars.
I was looking at Ben's photos from this weekend, and I almost didn't recognize myself. I'm old. Like, I've aged about 20 years in the past 4 months. I'm not kidding, either. Part of it might be that my hair is longer, now, but I think a lot of it is stress. Ben had photos on his memory card from August/September, and then ones from this weekend, and the difference is striking. Strikingly sad and scary. At this rate, botox is in my future. As soon as we can afford it...ha ha ha...
I was looking at Ben's photos from this weekend, and I almost didn't recognize myself. I'm old. Like, I've aged about 20 years in the past 4 months. I'm not kidding, either. Part of it might be that my hair is longer, now, but I think a lot of it is stress. Ben had photos on his memory card from August/September, and then ones from this weekend, and the difference is striking. Strikingly sad and scary. At this rate, botox is in my future. As soon as we can afford it...ha ha ha...
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Another day, another dollar (gone)
I think the recession has finally hit the streets in Portland. I haven't found any change on the ground since Scooter was out here over a week ago. I did, however, find two pairs of really cool Keen shoes on the sidewalk this afternoon. I wonder if Portland is trying to establish some sort of bartering system with me. I just can't figure out what my end of the bargain is. I mean, before it was just me picking up free money. Is it free shoes now, too? Free anything I want? In that case, please, Portland, will you give me some free legal advice?
I've got my tickets to go back to Omaha this weekend and the weekend of the 21st. I'll be sending out a fb request for anyone to pick me up at the airport LATE on those Friday nights and returning me sometime on Sunday afternoons. Don't all volunteer at once... :) I also have no problem calling a cab or taking the bus. It's how I roll these days.
Other than our quick trip to the coast this weekend, life has kind of settled into its new normal. Work is piling up at work, housework is piling up at home, etc. One thing I really enjoy doing - looking toward the future and the options it brings - has kind of been taken away from me until (hopefully) sometime in February. My tiny brain can't handle processing all the options for all the contingencies that might happen in February, so I've resigned myself to the present. For now.
I've got my tickets to go back to Omaha this weekend and the weekend of the 21st. I'll be sending out a fb request for anyone to pick me up at the airport LATE on those Friday nights and returning me sometime on Sunday afternoons. Don't all volunteer at once... :) I also have no problem calling a cab or taking the bus. It's how I roll these days.
Other than our quick trip to the coast this weekend, life has kind of settled into its new normal. Work is piling up at work, housework is piling up at home, etc. One thing I really enjoy doing - looking toward the future and the options it brings - has kind of been taken away from me until (hopefully) sometime in February. My tiny brain can't handle processing all the options for all the contingencies that might happen in February, so I've resigned myself to the present. For now.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Heavy New Year
Well, I can't say I'm sad to see 2010 go. I can say that I thought I'd feel better about 2011. We went to the coast for a quick weekend jaunt. We drove through the beautiful coastal range in Oregon on our way to Seaside. We stopped at Stub Stewart State Park so Ben could potentially do some mountain biking. He ended up taking a few photos, instead. Even though the elevation was low - around 1000 feet, there was still enough snow on the ground to deter Ben from biking a likely technical and definitely unfamiliar trail. There were some lovely trees in the morning light to photograph.
We ate lunch at Norma's Oceanside Restaurant, and that evening, we went to Cannon Beach to see Haystack Rock of Goonies fame. It was windy and cold on the beach, but we were there at low tide, so it was really nice to walk around on the beach and see the rocks where they come up out of the ground instead of surrounded by water.
Saturday, we headed back to Cannon Beach, this time to Ecola State Park so Ben could take a few photos. I took a few, too, but only one or two turned out. It was really windy and cold, and Bubba and I didn't want to stay out there for too long.
After that, we drove down 101 to Tillamook, stopping at almost every lookout and state rec area on the way.
It was a lovely drive, and we ended up in room 111 on 1/1/11, but overall, Tillamook was a bit disappointing to me. In fact, to be honest, the whole weekend was a little depressing. I had left 2010 thinking that closing that year would make me feel better about this one, but really, although I didn't end up taking Bubba to the emergency room yesterday (like I did on 1/1/10), at least when we got home from the ER a year ago, there were 4 of us. Together. A family. Today, when we got home from our weekend trip, I had to call #3 to tell her about what 1, 2, and 4 did this weekend. The whole time we were gone, I had a bit of an empty feeling in my heart, and tears were close to falling from my eyes. It was a wonderful time, and there was much fun to be had. I guess I just hope that we can do it again in a few months. Whole.
We ate lunch at Norma's Oceanside Restaurant, and that evening, we went to Cannon Beach to see Haystack Rock of Goonies fame. It was windy and cold on the beach, but we were there at low tide, so it was really nice to walk around on the beach and see the rocks where they come up out of the ground instead of surrounded by water.
Saturday, we headed back to Cannon Beach, this time to Ecola State Park so Ben could take a few photos. I took a few, too, but only one or two turned out. It was really windy and cold, and Bubba and I didn't want to stay out there for too long.
After that, we drove down 101 to Tillamook, stopping at almost every lookout and state rec area on the way.
It was a lovely drive, and we ended up in room 111 on 1/1/11, but overall, Tillamook was a bit disappointing to me. In fact, to be honest, the whole weekend was a little depressing. I had left 2010 thinking that closing that year would make me feel better about this one, but really, although I didn't end up taking Bubba to the emergency room yesterday (like I did on 1/1/10), at least when we got home from the ER a year ago, there were 4 of us. Together. A family. Today, when we got home from our weekend trip, I had to call #3 to tell her about what 1, 2, and 4 did this weekend. The whole time we were gone, I had a bit of an empty feeling in my heart, and tears were close to falling from my eyes. It was a wonderful time, and there was much fun to be had. I guess I just hope that we can do it again in a few months. Whole.
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