Here we go again...

I've been doing a lot of flying these past few (6?) months. At least twice per month, I've made a trip to and from Omaha. I'm a regular pro now at navigating the airspace between Portland and Omaha. Denver is my usual hangout between cities, but I've been through Dallas and Chicago a few times as well. I can tell you this with some certainty. Screaming/crying babies don't bother me. I'm a parent. I know what it's like to have to deal with an unhappy child on an aircraft. What does bother me is adults behaving like children and people who bring their dogs on flights with them. Because barking dogs are not what I want to hear for hours on end when I'm trapped in a metal tube hurtling through the air at 500 miles per hour. For one thing, a child's cries become pretty muted after about 4 rows. A dog's bark, on the other hand, can echo throughout the cabin, no matter how far away I'm sitting. Those shrill, annoying yelps of purse dogs are definitely the worst.

Once again, this weekend went by WAY too quickly. How on earth is it possible that the longest 2 hours of my life can be followed by the fastest 48? This weekend, there wasn't enough snow to go sledding, and it was too cold to do much playing outside at all. So we spent all day Saturday and Sunday playing games at my in-law's house. The in-laws are always so accommodating and lovely to hang out with. They bravely amuse Scooter and my whims as we flit from playing barbies to strawberry shortcake to 100s of games of UNO or Sorry. We even did two puzzles together.

Scooter talked to me quite a bit this weekend. I got the distinct impression that she's ready to come home. She commented that she belongs with me. I'm her MOM. I'm the one that has taken care of her. In fact, some of the comments lead me to believe that she's heard some things about the trial at her dad's house. She told me that I've taken care of her more than her dad has. That "even if you count all the days" that I've taken care of her vs her dad since she was "three" that I have taken care of her more. First of all, I have NEVER mentioned to her that bit about counting days. It was one of the things brought up at trial, that I've been the 90 percent parent since the divorce (which, by the way, happened when she was two...get your year's straight). His side took vehement offense to us even THINKING about breaking parenting down to percentages. How can you measure a parent's love for their child. Well...maybe by measuring how much time they want to spend with their daughter? No? Ok. Anyway, I told Scooter that we don't need to count days, and that I've taken care of her since the day she was born. I didn't start taking care of her when she turned 3.

She also made a comment that maybe by spring break, I'd be living back in Omaha, anyway. Um..hm..where would she have gotten that idea? Maybe when she and I were both asking her dad if she could come out to Portland for Spring break, and it took me asking 3 times and Scooter asking who know how many times? First of all, even if the judge had ruled from the bench and said "no" I probably wouldn't have been able to put in my two weeks at work, break my lease, and rent a moving truck before Spring break (a month and a week after trial). Secondly, so what. Even if I WERE back in Omaha by spring break, I'd still want to spend it with Scooter.

On the way home from church yesterday, she said that she really liked this weekend (and every weekend with me) because her dad and Vicky never spend time playing with her. They're always too busy to play games with her. My mother in law and I tried to make excuses for her dad (I've been doing that for 7 years. It's hard to break habit), and Scooter finally said, "no. he knows how to play all of those games. He just doesn't want to." It was sad. I feel sad that she's had to endure 6 months of loneliness for no reason other than her dad's selfishness. He supposedly wants her, but when he has her, he doesn't really want her. It breaks my heart.

On the way back to Omaha from the in-laws last night, Scooter also talked a lot about wanting to live with Bubba and be a family again. She mentioned that Bubba makes everything more fun, and she's concerned that he really misses her to much. He does, but it really made my heart swell that my daughter is so caring that she's concerned about that, and not her own happiness. This trial, her dad and Vicky's pregnancy, and now they're looking at new houses has got to be stressful for her. The trial alone is so so so stressful for me, I can't imagine being 7 and having to deal with the rest of  it.

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since the trial, and 17 days until I see Scooter again. This is killing me.