Happy Memories from Tuesday

Although overall, I still fee pretty awful about the whole trial, case, etc. I do have to revel in some of the happier points (for me) from this whole ordeal. Some of the antics from Tuesday were pretty funny, when looked at from farther away. I'll list a few below, and if I think of any others in the coming days, I'll go ahead and write new posts to capture them. Because if nothing else good comes of this, at least I'll have the memories of people, besides myself, looking dumb to a district court judge...

1. The Gun.
At one point, while we were trying to impeach (catch the ex in a "lie" or at least point out where he's maybe not so credible) the ex, he admitted that he had a gun in the courtroom. The judge was not amused:
Judge:  You have a gun?  In HERE?
Ex: Yes sir. I'm a police officer, and every time I come to the courthouse, I see people who don't like me. You know, people I've arrested...
Judge: You should try being a judge sometime. I would appreciate it if you'd lock up your weapon in the future, and do not bring a gun into my courtroom.
Ex: Yes sir.

2. The legitimate reason hurdle.
There are 2 main points in a removal case: does the plaintif have a legitimate reason to move, and is the move in the best interest of the child(ren). During Joni Mitchell's closing, she referred to 3 hurdles, but only 1 of which was she clear on. The legitimate reason hurdle. While she was in the middle of lambasting me for not clearing the first hurdle the judge interrupted her:
Judge: I've seen several removal cases where the plaintif falls in love with someone, who, for whatever reason, can't move to Omaha, and THAT is a legitimate reason for removal. They might not even be married. It might be a boyfriend she's moving for. That's a legitimate reason. Is this job not legitimate?

3. The "ties to community" hurdle.
This is not actually a hurdle. It's one of several prongs to look at in the "best interest of the children" hurdle. But anyway, it was part of her closing argument. That we didn't meet that hurdle, either. Because, according to Joni Mitchell, what bigger tie to the community is there, than her own father?! And that's where the judge interrupted her again:
Judge: uh, well...hm. In no case law or removal case that I've seen is the non-custodial parent considered a tie to the commuity. That's the whole reason why we have removal cases.

4. Scooter's testimony.
Joni Mitchell gave an impassioned speech. Like...total stream of consciousness nonsense. The judge had actually warned both lawyers to stick to the facts. Let's not get emotional and heated. In other words, he was aware that one of the parties had a gun in his courtroom, and that there have been heated exchanges between one of the parties and the other party's husband, and he didn't want any disaster happening. And in the middle of Joni Mitchell's closing, she brought up Scooter's in camera testimony. The in camera testimony happened back in November with the judge, both lawyers, and Scooter, and the judge gave his word that nothing Scooter said would leave his chambers. That it was a safety zone for her to just talk. Apparently, Joni Mitchell took that to mean she could twist Scooter's words around into a plea to stay in Omaha. The judge was not happy:
Judge: From what she said, it was clear that she loved her mom and she loved her dad. It was clear that she felt that they both loved her. Her testimony...she's obviously at a very tender age. Her testimony didn't weigh in favor either way.
Joni Mitchell: But you asked her. She didn't see her dad as a 10% dad. She saw him as the guy she saw every other DAY!
Judge: I gave that little girl my word that whatever she said would not leave my chambers. That's enough on her testimony. 

If anyone who was there that day reads this...feel free to comment on what the best part of the day was for you. I might need a little pick me up as I wallow in my scared little shell for the next few weeks/months...