About 5 years ago, I started dating Ben. Scooter didn't meet him until we'd been dating for 2 months. So...5 years ago, she wouldn't have met him, yet. But my ex knew about him. When scheduling his parenting time (he liked to re-arrange to fit his schedule), I may have mentioned that I had plans or something to that effect. Apparently, around that time, the ex accidently discharged his weapon inside his apartment, the bullet lodging in his downstairs' neighbor's bathroom. If the neighbor hadn't reported it, it would have gone unreported. Shortly after Scooter met Ben, the ex crashed his police cruiser into a firetruck.
The ex, by then, was on his 4th or 5th girlfriend post-move out. The only part of that which bothered me is that Scooter met every single one of those girls. I personally don't think you need to expose 3 year olds to all of your dates. But that's just me.
Fast forward a year and 4 months, and Ben and I got married. Scooter was 4. Shortly after that (or before that?) the ex started dating his current wife. Unremarkable except for the fact that within weeks, she was the one picking Scooter up from daycare, and soon after that, she was the one dropping Scooter off at home. I was a bit disappointed in the ex's apparent laziness, but to be honest, I was somewhat pleased that the level of care at her dad's house had improved somewhat.
For the next few years, the ex's girlfriend and I pretty much got along. I would not have called her my friend, and I doubt she would have done the same, but we had a working relationship. That is to say we were friendly at soccer games. She had some of the same gripes about him that I always have (he doesn't plan anything unless it's something he wants to do, then it'll all be planned out, w/o any communication back to you about it), etc. He moved in with her. Nothing really changed.
Last year, I proposed to the ex, our move to Portland. It was met with agreement, and tentative plans for summer vacation time. I did not consult the ex's girlfriend. I didn't think I needed to. Oh, boy, was I wrong. Overnight, she went from cordial to cold. Rather than any sort of discussion or compromise, we went straight to court. One minute, I had agreement with the ex. A week later, I was served with a restraining order. In it, my daughter's birthday was wrong - about 3 years off. A few months after that, mediation attempts broke down with the ex saying, "I cannot agree to anything you say. What will people [insert: new wife - oh yeah, they got married last fall] think of me if I just say ok?" I had offered to let him not pay a penny in child support if he'd just let us move and not have to go to court. He insisted.
Court was interesting. Actually, it was the hardest 2 days of my life. The ex's new wife (can I just call her Vicky?) sat outside the courtroom (for no reason) both days. She looked horrible. Not that she was ever particularly good looking, but now, instead of being hidden by hair products and make up, the negativity couldn't help but shine through. She has since tried her best to disrupt my time with Scooter. She has tried her best to insert herself where I already am. Half the time, I feel like my emails to the ex are being read and answered by her. It's nonsense. Fast forward to last night, she was with Scooter and her dad in the Starbucks we met at for the parenting exchange. The policeman I spoke with when I filed the police report a few weeks ago recommended that we do exchanges in public, so that's what I'm doing.
So there she was, sitting at the Starbucks. And she still had that sour, horrible look on her face. If you google, "sour faced old trout" you'll get an idea of what she always looks like (or...at least whenever I'm around). Here. I'll help you out. Imagine Vicky:
Oh, yeah. And she's 5 months preggers, which in a normal person would mean that she's 10-12 pounds heavier than normal. But on her, it means each arm is 10-12 pounds heaver. Not to mention the gut. *shudder*
You get the idea...
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