One more piece

Ben flew out here yesterday.  We tossed around the idea of him taking the train back to the apartment, but decided against it.  He was flying in 20 minutes before the last train of the night, and he had a checked bag.  After a 4+ hour lay over in Las Vegas, he called because his flight was delayed by almost an hour.  I fell asleep.  When I awoke, I had mere moments to get out of the house to go pick him up.  I took the world's fastest shower, grabbed the boy, and took off into the night.

Ben called while I was driving.  No worries, I was almost across the bridge.  And that's when tragedy struck.  Not really.  Nobody died or anything, but while I was on the phone with Ben, I took the wrong turn on the 405 bridge.  You need to understand this behemoth in order to really grasp what I did.  You see it's 2 layers, the top carries westbound 30 and southbound 405 traffic, the bottom carries the opposite.  Ok, not a big deal.  Except there are 4 off-shoots that you can take in either direction.  I-5, I-405, OR-30, etc.  It gets confusing.  The fastest way to the airport is I-5 to Lombard, which is also OR-30 bypass.  So....I took the OR-30 exit from the bridge.  WRONG.  I know.  But just look at the NE end of the bridge.  It's a big ol' mess!


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I ended up turning a 25-30 minute drive into a 50 minute drive.  I was tired and out of it and lost in Portland.  On a happy note, I was able to drive by OMSI.  So...I could potentially get back there on my own again (if I'm 1/2 asleep and get kind of lost).  Poor Ben was exhausted but such a good sport.  The way home was not as eventful (save for me forgetting where the entrance to the interstate was).  We got home late, and I went from sharing a bed with 30 pounds of man to 230 pounds of man.  So happy to have Ben here, but it makes it painfully obvious that we're still missing a piece...

Criminals have a right to a speedy trial; mothers do not

My mom referred to my blog today as an epistle.  It made me smile.  Even if one of the technical definitions of espistle is a communication to a person or specific audience, generally, terms like that are biblical in nature.  At the very least, I would use it in reference to a somewhat poetic letter.  My blogs are just kind of my way of a brain dump/stress unloader.  I would liken it to a cement truck.  I just dump out whatever's churning around in there, and once it's out here, it kind of solidifies into a concrete mass.  I'm aiming to make a pretty street or sidewalk, but often times, it's just this hardened lump, blocking your path. 

Anyway, I'm getting over my disappointment/despair/shock/etc of Monday.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still randomly crying throughout the day for no reason.  But over all, I feel better about things.  It could have been worse.  Our Feb 7th trial date, which should have been taken off the docket, and therefore filled up again with other stuff, was still listed for us.  You see, if they had taken our trial off the docket for that date, a bunch of criminals would have taken the date because criminals have a right to a speedy trial.  Families have no such right.  We just have luck, I guess.  So anyway, with my mom's biblical booster in mind, I'll think about this today:

"Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant"  --1 Corinthians 13:4

"Mother is love" --Precious Moments writers

worst possible outcome

I may not be a crazy-planner type of person, but I do like to know what's going on in my own life.  Yesterday, I was a "star" witness in a trial.  I kept saying to myself that it was just like a job interview.  Except the stakes were much, much higher.  I'm not sure it really helped with the nerves.  The trial was scheduled for a whole day.  On Friday night, the opposing party dropped a bomb on us, which ended up delaying the start of our case on Monday morning.  ok, fine.  We can still do this.  In fact, when we broke for lunch, we were still on pace to do it.  Except after we go, they go, and they go slow.  Painfully slow.  Comically slow.  Embarrassingly slow.  And in the end, the worst thing that could have happened did happen - we didn't finish.  I was prepared for a win or a loss that day.  I was prepared to not know the outcome for a couple of weeks while the judge made an informed decision.  I was not prepared to have to wait 7 more weeks to finish a 1 day trial, and then wait a few more weeks while the judge makes a decision.

It hurt.  It really hurt.  After sitting on the stand for nearly 5 hours, it became clear that we weren't going to finish.  I broke down and cried for the whole afternoon recess - about 10 minutes.  After that, I had to get back on the stand to wait for more questions from the opposing party.  Just knowing that we couldn't finish yesterday nearly broke my spirit.  It is almost as bad as a loss.  At least with a loss, I can start moving forward with my life and trying to nail down a job in Omaha.  At this point, I'm in such limbo.  My whole family is. 

We did so much work to finish our case by Dec 13th.  They stalled, and now, since they're defense and go 2nd, have 7 more weeks to shore up their case.  It just seems at every turn, we're doing the right thing, but getting the wrong result.  They're doing the wrong thing and it feels like they're winning.  I don't understand.  And now, since the judge allowed them to enter their motion for custody, and since they currently have temporary custody, it gives their case that much more weight.  Like, it'd be a bigger disruption at this point to pull her out of that house and bring her back home to her own family.  What is going on?  In what world is this OK?  In what world does it make more sense to reward bad behavior?  And not just once, but over and over again?  Something is broken, and it's not just my spirit.

Don't slip

Yesterday was an interesting day.  For the first time in my life, I had my deposition taken.  I'll be honest.  It was pretty awful.  Hopefully, I don't fall apart on the stand on Monday.  Only time will tell, I guess.  My sister told me to get out my man-panties and pretend that I'm my other sister:  the emotionless robot who won't let other people get to her.  No guarantees, but I'll certainly try. 

I also got to listen to another deposition be taken.  It was interesting, in a C-SPAN w/o video sort of way.  I will admit that after the experiences of the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that I could be a lawyer.  And if I were a lawyer, I'd do a % of my cases pro bono.  Because this sh!t's expensive.  Excuse my language. 

To cheer me up today, my sister (the one who gave me the pep talk) sent me a little instructional .pdf on how to walk safely in the winter time.  I can't seem to get it to upload, so I'll copy and paste it.  Here: 

How to Walk on Ice
By Xxxx Xxxxxxxxxxx, Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxx Loss Prevention

Thousands of people die each year from falls. Many of them happen during the winter when snow and ice cover walkways and make getting around hazardous. Snow and ice buildup is a hazard we all live with. Taking some simple precautions will make walking on ice easier and less dangerous.

At the end of the day, the goal is to have everyone leave and go home in the same condition that they arrived in the morning. The following short steps can help us all accomplish this goal.

Instructions

                        Wear boots or sturdy shoes with non-skid soles. Don't try walking on ice in shoes that have no traction. Do not wear leather soled shoes, high heels or shoes that do not have rubber soled bottoms.

                        Take your time. Getting in a hurry increases your chances of a fall because you're not paying attention. Don’t take shortcuts. Stay on areas that have been cleared, salted and maintained.

                        Pay attentive to ice that can be covered with snow. When you think you're in the clear you could still hit a patch and fall.

                        Balance yourself with your arms. Get your hands out of your pockets and distribute the weight of packages evenly to give you better balance. Use luggage with rollers whenever possible.

                        Take short shuffling steps and avoid an erect posture. Walk as flat footed as possible.

                        Get help from someone who is wearing appropriate shoes or is more confident than you. Never be ashamed to ask for someone's arm to help you across a patch of ice.

Tips & Warnings

                        Get snow cleared away from walkways and driveways as soon as possible. Melting and refreezing of layered snow can cause heavy patches of ice.

                        Notify school if there are dangerous areas that need to be addressed with salt, sand, shoveling etc.

                        If you feel yourself beginning to fall try to relax and roll as much as possible. This will help lesson the impact and may keep you from breaking a bone. Protect your head if at all possible by trying to keep it up and away from impact with the ice.

Some of the notable tips were to relax and roll around while keeping your head up and off the concrete if you do find yourself falling, find someone more confident than yourself to hold onto, and avoiding an erect posture.  Really?  Also, "Getting in a hurry increases your chance of a fall..."  How about "BEING in a hurry.  Or HURRYING.  I'm not sure I've ever "gotten" into a hurry, but that might just be me.

I guess I'm going to have to crawl, then...

This is for all of you who think I'm a mean mom (which I'll admit that I am, but good kids have mean moms).  Anyway, my very own mother volunteered to watch 3 of my nephews while their parents went out of town 2 weeks ago.  They had gone for a walk, and were about 3 blocks from the house when the 3 (almost 4) year old announced that he couldn't walk any farther.  My mother stated that she couldn't carry him.  He countered with the "fact" that he couldn't walk.  This may have gone back and forth a few more times, but the end result was that my mom (his GRANDMOTHER) told him, "Well then you're going to have to crawl because I'm not going to carry you."  Wow, mom.  That's harsh.  But you know what?  That little guy walked the rest of the way home (if only to save his developing knee caps). 

I'm kind of in need of a mean mom (or grandma) to tell me to either walk or crawl because I'm kind of stuck in a slump.  I've tried being my own mean mom, but I'm not very good at it.  In fact, I'm beginning to think that I'm losing my mean momminess in general.  I let Bubba sleep with me everynight.  I will let him have snacks even if he doesn't eat anything at meal times.  I've even slacked (a little) on Scooter's baby-talk problem.  I need a little kick in the pants to get myself back in gear, both for my kids and for myself. 

So if you see me in the street or catch me on the phone, get strict with me.  You can even try to be inspriational about it.  I read something recently that said, "if we all put our troubles in a pile to split among us, we'd all want our own back" or something like that.  And I suppose it's true.  Once it's your trouble, you've already started down the path of coping.  And I can do this.  I'll just pretend it's easy.

Hunker down, honey!

I noticed these signs the first week I worked here.  I've been meaning to write about them, but I can't really decide from which angle to attack.  I guess I'll start out with some generalization about the signs here, and then hone in on one in particular...

There are signs everywhere.  (and yes, now I'm singing "Signs" silently to myself).  There are signs telling us what the codes are (pink is the only one I can ever remember - child/infant abduction).  There are signs telling us about our company core values.  There are signs (and hand sanitizer stations) reminding us to wash our hands.  And then there are these signs.  They're just regular pieces of red-colored paper with text (not even 1 picture!)...and they're about in-place sheltering in case of disaster or really bad weather. 

That's right.  Every time I use the stairs, I am forced to ask myself the question, "if I have to in-place shelter at work, am I prepared?"  No.  I'm not.  I don't have duct tape and plastic sheeting in a desk drawer.  I don't have a gallon of water per day stored in the corner.  I don't have dry or canned foods with a can opener.  No dust mask or first aid kit or flashlight with extra batteries.  Heck, I don't even have a book or crossword puzzle to pass the time.  I am sooo not prepared to stay here longer than 8 hours a day, 5 days a week...

But if 33 Chileans can use mining equipment as workout equipment, maybe I can scrounge up enough office supplies to play a few games of tic tac toe.  Plus, my cube is right next to the break room.  All the bottled water I can drink!  I'll defend it with my tiny pocket knife and create a fort out of the empties.  I can raid the fridge and eat everyone else's lunch food.  On second thought, maybe the next time I see a snowflake in the sky, I'll declare the need to in-place shelter, and not leave here for a few days.  Sure, it might be a little unconventional, but we need to think of personal and community safety, here...

Certifiable

When we last left off, I had just taken my 2nd certification exam.  Epic received the completed test via FedEx on Monday, and 3 hours later, I had my result:  PASS!  I missed .5 points more than my first test, but it's still a respectable 94%. 

Fancily enough, today I got my certificate saying I am certified in my first data model.  So...it takes about 2 weeks from the grade posting until you actually get the certificate in the mail.  Expect me to be hanging something in my cube on the 14th, when I get back from Omaha.  Oh, wait...the 15th, when I get back into the office after working from home after getting back from Omaha.  Whew.

A lot has happened on the private front of my life ***insert happy, worried, angry, unemotional, accomodating face here***  which I won't really get into other than to say my stomach is doing flips as I type this.